Deanna Linz~TV Host and Pageant Coach

I cannot believe the holidays are here. Time flies so quickly. My biggest pet peeve is the fact that it gets dark so early! I loved living in Germany where it was actually light at 10pm. Can anyone say Alaska:)

Carter was admitted to Walter Reed this week due to dehydration and flu like symptoms. He was unable to keep food down. They did a head ultrasound and then CT to realize his ventricles had enlarged and the fluid may be putting pressure on his brain. We had the conversation in regards to putting a shunt in. This scares the heck out of me as you could imagine. Many children and adults can thrive with a shunt but brain surgery was not exactly a level of comfort that can be found in most people. Certainly not in me...the Mom. I came home on Tuesday to shower and just sat in my closet and cried. I can't help but question what did I do to cause this? No matter what anyone says, the blame falls on the Mom. It is the way the in laws look at you or some doctors as they as, "Do they know why he was born so early?". Truth is, no one really knows without an obvious cause. I am young (sort of:))), healthy and our lifestyle is a healthy one minus the occasional over indulgence of peanut M&M's.

Carter came home today after a battle with a flu virus and we still will continue to follow him through Neuro, Gastro, Optha, Pulmo (all followed by ology) and Pediatrics.

Thank you from Carter, Andy & I for all of the prayers. It was a rough week but Carter seems to be back to his baseline and smiling at me a lot. He has the best smiles.....