Things have been quiet with Carter for the last week! Yes, this is good news! Is Carter getting "better"...No but he is getting bigger which is what we need for his lungs. We have been very lucky that his NEC has not progressed. Hopefully on Friday he can start feeds, very small, but still the nutrition he needs. It has been almost three weeks for him.

I firmly believe in the power of prayer and in little miracles. I cannot thank everyone enough for all the love and support that has come our way.

This week was also Halo's birthday. As some may know, Halo was given to me by my Mother and was the last gift I recieved from my parents so she is a very special little girl to us. She celebrated her birthday with Jack & Josie and cannot wait to meet our little Carter.

I also want to thank "The Stars" @ The Bridge Community Church and Rebecca Crosen for their beautiful get well cards for Carter.

Carter is 53 days old today. He is 2 lbs and 11 oz. A friend of mine called him "ROCKY" and the name sticks. He is our fighter, our blessing, and a gift to remind me daily that God is with us and to believe we are never alone.

Some have wondered how I am getting through things. I feel like I am channeling my Father when I say we have choices in life. God gives us lessons and fills us with love. If I lay down now, what good am I for my son.

With much love and many, many blessings...Deanna, Andy, Carter, Halo, Josie and Jack.

Wanted to give an update on Carter. I included definitions as far as what some things are. Thank goodness for Google! This explains things better than I can.



Carter has had a few quiet days, thank goodness after Saturday. Nothing really has changed except minor changes to his vent. We spoke with the third year fellow last night and he did say to us that in his three years as a fellow he has never seen lungs as sick as Carter. I also blatantly asked him if this can be resolved and he did say yes but he will need to get the advice of others. I am taking this as positive but we know that Carter has really sick lungs. Pulmonary Blebs are uncommon in preemies and being on a vent for 47 days is also damaging to the lungs. They try to be informative and keep us in the reality of it all at the same time. At least they are not giving up hope.



The also spoke with us that there is a POSIBILITY and I say that is more of a … “hey we will keep an eye on it”….that Carter may have NEC.



What Is Necrotizing Enterocolitis?

A gastrointestinal disease that mostly affects premature infants, NEC involves infection and inflammation that causes destruction of the bowel (intestine) or part of the bowel. Although it affects only one in 2,000 to 4,000 births, or between 1% and 5% of neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) admissions, NEC is the most common and serious gastrointestinal disorder among hospitalized preterm infants.

Today he is having a head Ultrasound. His platelets are low and have been consistently so they are checking for where they may be going or if he is just not producing enough of them. He has had multiple transfusions. Because he has IVH, they are just doing the ultrasound to rule out possibilities so at this time there is a not a point of concern. We will get results today.



(INTRAVENTRICULAR HEMORRHAGE Intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH) is a generic term that refers to bleeding that begins in the germinal matrix of the brain’s ventricles. This condition most commonly affects premature babies. IVH is graded into four categories from mildest to most severe: subependymal haemorrhage or Grade I IVH, intraventricular hemorrhage or Grade II IVH, ventricular dilatation also called ventriculomegaly or Grade III IVH, and intraparenchymal hemorrhage due to rupture of the blood into the brain from within the ventricles or Grade IV IVH.)



They did an x-ray this morning but the doctors have not reviewed them yet. They had a new admit and rounds. By noon, we should know if there are any changes and if anything will change from a medical perspective today. I am just waiting.



It does feel like everyday there is something and Carter is our little “Rocky” as far as continuing to push through. We are very proud of our little man.



Weight 2 pounds, 5 oz and 14 inches

As a Mother in the NICU, I feel incredibly helpless and alone. Carter's last 24 hours have been very rough. We were called at 2am because Carter was have respiratory issues. We arrived at the hospital to find him on 100% oxygen and saturating at 48-60. It was once again the feeling of watching the monitors and praying to God to give Carter strength. His color was a blue grey and he was not his fiesty self. Many hours later Carter was showing improvement due to the great care and the power of God. We then found out upon xray that it appeared that one of his pulmonary blebs (yes, that is actually the technical term)ruptered.The room began to spin and I fought ever urge to scream that Carter needed a break...enough. We waiting as if it did not self resolve we would need to have a procedure where they stick a needed around his heart to release to air. This procedure is very dangerous. Again, we sat, watched the monitors and prayed....as of right now, at this moment our little Carter is stable. I can only judge everything on a moment to moment basis.

As I sit in the NICU I think a lot. Not always good if you live in my head. I am terrified 100% of the time and blame myself for the struggle of my child. I know I have been told it is nothing "I" did but the feeling is always there.

Andy and I feel so blessed for the love of family, friends and prayers. This is truly what gets us through each day and gives strength to our little miracle.

Today we are exhausted....but Carter continue to do all the hard work.

Lois is here this weekend.

Much love-

Deanna, Andy & Carter

What to NOT expect when expecting....

Carter is 41 days old today and 2 pounds. He has not been on feeds for about two weeks so has actually lost weight.

What they never tell you or you never read about (or atleast you don't look for it) is what happens that is not expected.

Carter has been bradying a lot or 22 times by documentation. That and d-satting. One may ask, "what does that mean" and the answer is , " I don't know". This is the same answer you get from the doctors that have had to "bag" him in the last 24 hours. SCARED, yes, NUMB, yes....

I am SOOOO proud of my little Carter. He is a wiggle worm and what I also like to call my little monkey.

Love to all- Deanna, Andy & Carter

PS- Good luck to all competing in VA INT'l this weekend. Deshawn is amazing and it will be an amazing year for you!

Hello-

This past week has been the worst week of my life. I spoke to friends on Friday night and there was probably no doubt I was losing it.(that and Reglan which causes depression) We were told twice that Carter would not make it through the night. I am not sure how one is suppose to deal with that so I think I went into automation mode. I have lost both my parents after surgeries for heart disease and I think I just started to shut off. Carter proved them wrong and I think it is because he knew Mommy and Daddy were with him and weren't letting go.

They found a source of his infection which is a staph infection in the MRSA family but not drug resistant. He is on new antibiotics and seems to be responding. He still has very sick lungs which is not related but is making impressive strides I think by clinical standards. (proud Mommy talking)

I have often talked about perspective but this week I had a good dose of it. I believe so much in little miracles and the power of prayer. The love of family and good friends continues to see us all through and the love of God. Sometimes when you lose those in life you lose faith in life, in people and in God. I was lost, but now found and God is with us daily and with Carter each second.

Carter is stable, good no, but doing better. He is my living angel and continues to remind me that life is about love, family and faith. For that we are so blessed....Carter is 37 days old today.....2 pounds, 2 ounces.

Much love-

Deanna, Andy, Carter, Halo, Josie & Jack

Carter has had a rough few days. A few words I have come to hate in the NICU are this is, "something expected in a preemie born at his gestational age", this is "common" or "he is in a better place than he was"....He is getting great care but to Andy, Carter and I nothing about this situation is expected and it certainly is not common.

Carter suffered from an infection last Friday and since then his lungs collapsed. As of right now, at this moment....he is better. I have learn to gage things on a moment to moment basis as they change so quickly. I live in an anxiety of the phone ringing if we aren't there and that the alarms will go off if we are.

Carter is beautiful and opened his eyes yesterday which excited Andy and I. He had been so endemic that we have not seen his beautiful eyes since last Friday.

It is day by day, moment by moment so thank you for all the prayers. He is our strong little man and much like his Daddy, very happy the Steelers won the Superbowl.

Much love-
Deanna, Andy, Carter, Halo, Josie & Jack