My heart

I talked to my Mom everyday. My Dad not so much but that was more of a busy guy thing. I would call and he handed the phone to my Mom. I think many men do this. Here talk to your Mom.  Ok, they get a bit of a pass on that one.  I would also chatter when my Dad was reading his paper and drinking his coffee at 5 am and he would lower his paper and stare at me until I kissed him on the cheek and walk away to take my morning shower. We all had early morning schedules. I have always been an early riser.

For years I worked over nights on HSN on air so my sleep schedule is always and will always be a little off.

In 2005, I married and my amazing Brother walked me.  Why, my Daddy was not there. He passed from a heart attack at 54.

So in 2009 I was sitting alone in the NICU at Walter Reed with no one to call. There was no one to annoy. My husband was active duty in the US Army and we gave birth to an amazing son. I spent 165 days in that NICU with no parents to call or annoy. Why? They both passed from heart disease.

In 2010 I had a heart attack and surgery. No one saw that coming. Least of all me. Again, I felt alone.

In  2013 I had a stroke ( two Tia's prior) LISTEN to your body!

(Childbirth has been hard )

Today I still pick up the phone sometimes and no one answers.



Heart month should not be a month but a life style.

February is heart month but no one should be alone. I can't say for my Mom but for my Dad I truly think he would still be here to walk me down the aisle, let me annoy him and pretend to be annoyed at my calls if he would have payed more attention and learned the facts. My Mom had cardiovascular disease my Dad congestive heart failure.

My Mom I think if the docs would not have over medicated her and listened to her she would be here too. They do this with me too. Women are so easy to dismiss. It's actually disgusting how we are treated in the ED at times. Everything breaks down to are we emotional and they lose track of the facts. Well that almost killed me a few years ago because I did not look the part of a heart attack patient.

Get in, get checked out. Learn YOUR baseline numbers. Blood pressure, cholesterol , blood sugar, baseline EKG. Don't smoke!

Learn more at www. Heart.org

Your never alone
.

Read into it~

As someone like so many with heart disease, I posted a picture today of the pills I take on Facebook. I found this interesting as a survivor of the likes. I can get xyz likes for a new photo but this was a very important message to me. I think I got 3 likes so no one read it.  I lost my parents and live because of the medication I take yet no one stopped to listen.  It was uncomfortable to look at. It's easier to walk away from. It was not a great photo.

This is my life . Heart disease is real and should not be so silent. I am scared EVERY day. It's that
silent.

I take these EVERYDAY. ALL of them.  EVERYDAY.

Log on to www.heart.org~ Educate, Advocate and most of all speak out and survive.

Lord don't not care so much that you forget about you

My heart hurts in truth-

Heart disease

 

 

 

Heart disease is the NUMBER #1 killer of men and women! How will you GO RED for heart month?

 

 

A week of fatisum....

I have to admit this past week has been mentally tough on me. I guess I learned a few things, don't ask if you don't want the answer and secondly, do ask if you really want the answer. I have been CONSUMED with my weight since being told to DROP SOME POUNDS. The good is I DO think it reminded me again of healthy choices. Yesterday I ate avocado, tangerines, pickles and filet. The bad is it brought me back to a place that I hate the mirror, have been having strange dreams and I am once again an internal teenager fighting the demons of weight. My stomach is a mess. Ranitidine and Phenergan have become my daily salvations and I am just feeling awful.

This brings me to what we allow others to do to us. I bought some new jeans, a size 4 and they were falling off of me on Friday yet I can't look in the mirror without just feeling ugly and fat. I know its hard for some to understand and some will get it which is why I am sharing. Its not always "what" you say. If you are asked a question or are dealing with a situation you don't want to deal with, be honest. I respect that. Most people WILL respect that. Its all in the delivery. Words hurt, silence can hurt. Its delivery. Her opinion for me to drop some pounds in a pageant world may be 1000% true but it was all in the delivery of the conversation. Honestly, I try to be "heart healthy" most days so I battle with getting back to a zero  (I guess my perfect pageant weight but I have since given birth so that ain't happening again unless I have a rib removed). My chest area alone is built like a Volkswagen so I am sturdy but again it is all in the delivery.

Words hurt and linger. I am quite sure I am not, not at fault in my life but I am learning to "think" before I speak and remember that the words you say (or post) can last a lifetime.

~from my heart

D

Age....what is your number?

I have been talking about change for a while and now I am making change. Its a little hard and scary and considering I grew up in the era that I was the TV changer for my parents, I owned a boom box and was VERY excited when I owned my first CD player, the world has continued to evolve so instead of living in the past I am choosing to live for today. I don't believe age should define you. Really unless you are at the Doctors office, competing in something that judges on age or are under age....it really is not a factor. You can do anything.

So this brings me to what is your number? This also brings me to what ARE YOUR NUMBERS! I know I know here I go again but in trying to keep the inside going so the outside can do anything one must know your numbers.

Here are the numbers we typically know:
~AGE
~Weight
~Personal phone
~Numbers to any cable or mobile service
~Takeout
~Therapist (:))

Here are the numbers we should know:

TOTAL CHOLESTEROLGOAL: Your total cholesterol score is calculated by the following equation: HDL + LDL + 20% of your triglyceride level. A total cholesterol score of less than 180 mg/dL is considered optimal.
Learn more about cholesterol levels.

---

BLOOD PRESSURE
GOAL: Less than 120/80 mmHg
Learn more about blood pressure.

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FASTING GLUCOSE
GOAL: Less than 100 mg/dL
Learn more about glucose.

---

BODY MASS INDEX (BMI)
GOAL: Greater than 18.5 but less than 25 kg/m²
Learn more about BMI.

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WAIST CIRCUMFERENCE*GOAL: Women: 35 inches or less
*GOAL: Men: 40 inches or less
*if BMI is greater than 25 kg/m²
Learn more about waist circumference.

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PHYSICAL ACTIVITYAt least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity at least 5 days per week for a total of 150
OR
At least 25 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity at least 3 days per week for a total of 75; or a combination of the two
AND
Moderate to high intensity muscle-strengthening activity at least 2 days per week for additional health benefits.
Learn more about physical activity. 

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DIET AND NUTRITIONAs you make daily food choices, our Diet and Lifestyle recommendations emphasize eating a variety of nutritious foods from all the food groups.
Learn more about our 2013 Diet and Lifestyle recommendations.

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TOBACCO
Eliminate all tobacco products and exposure to secondhand smoke.
Learn more about smoking.

---

ALCOHOL
Women: no more than 1 drink per day.
Men: no more than 2 drinks per day.
1 drink = 4 oz. wine, 1 oz. liquor or 12 oz. beer
Learn more about alcohol.


(Phone and therapist too:))

We can do anything as we continue to mature so its important to take care of the inside too! Heart month is coming up (February) so learn your numbers and throw the age to the side. Be your best at any age and never stop dreaming, believing and doing.

Learn more at www.heart.org!

~here's to your heart~D

Breaking the cycle~

January is such a tough month for me because for the past 5 years it always has brought with it "something" and never a ringing of the New Year and all is bright. Maybe it just has been a reminder but I for one am done with anything  but champagne toast and caviar dreams! Ok, I did not have control for sure. On January 2, 2009 at 3:18 am my little man arrived at 23 weeks ( he was due in April) and thus followed 165 days in the NICU and I cannot tell you the worries, heartaches and pain. On January 12, 2010, I had a heart attack and stent placed in my left anterior descending anterior due to an over 70% blockage. In January 2013, I had a stroke and ended up in the ICU for a week.

My body and January, well it rebuttals. I can't blame it, it has take abuse over the years and my family history screams at me but January is ROUGH!

So my heart, besides the fact that I wear it like a tattoo sleeve and is fragile, its fragile. I was bulimic as a teenager and then there is stress. My parents both passed of heart disease (both Valve) but one cannot ignore a few things in life when it comes to your own body.

I like almost everyone also has the Cancer history in my family. My paternal grandma is amazing. Two rounds of chemo, one heart surgery, one President ( my Grandpa Floyd J Pemberton received an award) and two husbands. An amazingly strong lady who just turned 89! I was so happy to spend time with her in December! A true matriarch!

So what will this January bring? It feels new. Its feels different.

I/we took December and had an AMAZING month with family.

I think I have many hopes for this January~

~breaking the cycle~

D

THIS IS ME YOUR TALKING TO....

Music is such a huge part of who I am. I find that people don't talk , often listen and seldom hear. I write all the time and way too much by standards and not enough by others. I remember listening to . " The Greatest Man I Never Knew" and I sang it for my Dad at a MAO when I gave up my crown. YAWNS ago.......I also sang , "The Nights the Lights Went Out In Georgia" that night. Clearly I am a HUGE Reba fan!

So today I was thinking what would be a song to talk to someone? What would you say? What would make them listen?

 

What do you really hear?

~just listening~D

Facebook....friend or foe?

Social media is such an interesting animal. When I can't sleep, I troll Facebook, Instagram and Twitter because its company. People post A LOT. I do too. I think there can be good, bad and many fine lines when writing in the social world. Strangers become friends and friends become enemies all in one single post. I do personally think they should work on their buttons. Sometimes I want to acknowledge a post but is the "like" really appropriate? I'm sick, someone dies, etc is "like" really what you want to say? It seems so odd at times.

This brings me to posting. They do make you think and I feel so happy that I have been able to catch up with so many friends through Facebook. However, what is the "too much" in posting? I see so much sadness or then someone defriends you and therefore that includes 20 of their friends and you are left to feel like , "Hey what did I do?"

I have learned a lot and something I have REALLY learned is the art of privacy. Sometimes when you share too much, you have no idea who's reading it or sharing so my recommendation is to not POST TOO MUCH!

There is that old acronym....TMI.....Don't share if you truly care....I think my new find is Instagram and I'm already a generation behind!

~Where is their love or hate button?

~just me~D

Drop some pounds.....

I often look at myself in the mirror and HATE how I look. Yes, this stems from a lot. First, I am female and I think we are just raised to want to "look" like the cover or the celebrity or the "it" girl. I am not ashamed to say but I was bulimic as a teenager and even into my 20's. It killed my vocal chords, gave me an ulcer and one day after SEVEN years, I was able to stop. I will thank God for that and based on my conversation from yesterday I was reminded of my "triggers". I am so insecure. I don't think I am ugly or obese but I have cried feeling that I was more than once in my life, even recently. Why, I allow others to make me feel that way. Someone leaves you. Trigger. Someone tells you your not worth the air they breath. Trigger. Just feeling alone. Trigger.

This brings me to a conversation I had yesterday. I want to say I actually truly like this person but "said" person directs a pageant that I competed in. (NOT INTERNATIONAL) The state pageant is coming soon and I have to admit I do get the itch. Since I placed before, I asked how or what I should change. She was honest in her answer. DROP A FEW POUNDS.  Me being me after I quickly got off the phone and stated, "she called me fat!"....I had a sleepless night.

I am a size 2 or 4. I am "chesty" but that won't change but a 2 or 4. I am built like a gymnast. I grew up skating and dancing so I am athletic in statue but drop some pounds. Its was not like tone up it was like DROP SOME POUNDS. As if my butt was Texas and friends.

This brings me to pageantry and why I do it. Starting to question! How can you EVER win if A~you are not 6 feet tall and  B~you always need to drop a few pounds. Right in the gut. I'm never going to be the perfect 10.

My instinct this morning was to run to the gym and I will as I do but my first instinct is to be MOMMY. So I guess that is the ONLY title I need. The one that matters most!

~from the heart~D

Who believes in you?

I often have referenced my Home Shopping days. How can I not? I was 17 when that journey started and I was a model. On some whim, I got hired full time when I was NOT the tallest, prettiest, skinniest and certainly one of the fairest. Bud Paxson and Roy Spear and Barry Loper hired me. Bud Paxson passed last Friday. A great inspiration and brilliant. You will be missed and were loved by many.

Lowell White "Bud" Paxson (April 17, 1935 – January 9, 2015) was an American media executive.
A native of Rochester, New York,^[1] Paxson began his career as an owner of WACK Radio, a little 500 watt radio station in the village of Newark, New York. His next attempt at media ownership was radio station WXYJ (AM 1340) and TV station WNYP (channel 26) in Jamestown, New York; Paxson, who bought the stations in 1966, attempted to affiliate WNYP with the CTV Television Network out of Canada (a first for an American television station); by 1969, the TV station had failed.^[2] Paxson later emerged as the owner of a small AM radio station, WWQT (1470 AM), in Clearwater, Florida.^[3] There, in 1977, an advertiser had plenty of product to sell—avocado-green-colored can openers—but ran out of funds to purchase airtime. Paxson instructed talk-show host Bob Circosta, who had a talk show from noon until 3:00 PM,^[4] to sell the can openers live over the airwaves, and both men were stunned at the audience response. All 112 can openers were purchased within the hour on August 28, 1977. This started the Suncoast International Bargainers Club.^[5]
Sensing the sales potential of live, on-air product selling, Paxson and financier Roy Speer co-founded a local cable TV channel (channel 52 on Vision Cable) in 1982 that sold products directly to Florida viewers, and then launched nationwide in 1985. The channel was the Home Shopping Club, later Home Shopping Network (currently known as HSN), and Paxson's former radio man Bob Circosta was tapped as the network's first-ever host. HSN soon became a billion dollar juggernaut and began the home shopping / electronic retailing industry. In 1996, the two sold HSN to Hollywood executive Barry Diller.
Paxson then formed Paxson Communications Corporation (currently known as Ion Media Networks) and bought radio stations, TV stations, and billboards, primarily in Florida. Eventually, he sold those and put the money into PAX TV (currently known as Ion Television), a new network of family-friendly TV shows.^[6] The channel also reflected Paxson's background as an evangelical Christian (since 1985), which he spoke of openly. PAX TV began on August 31, 1998.
During the time between the sale of HSN and the founding of PAX TV, Paxson moved his headquarters from Tampa to West Palm Beach.
However, the network never received anywhere near the ratings or advertising revenue of the other networks. In addition, PAX TV lost a few affiliates, such as when Paxson sold its Dayton, Ohio, and Green Bay, Wisconsin, stations to ACME Communications so that group could affiliate them with The WB (though PAX TV programming continued to air overnight on those stations for a few years), and the network was unable to offer their programming in some markets, like St, Louis, Charlotte and Pittsburgh.
On June 28, 2005, PAX TV became "i: Independent Television". In November of that year, NBCUniversal, which owned 22 percent of i, began a nine-month period during which it could buy the rest of the network. Possibly sensing that NBCU would do so, and beset with lawsuits over the operation of i, Paxson resigned from the company he founded.
In addition, Paxson became Ion Media Networks, and NBCU executive R. Brandon Burgess became the chief executive officer. In time, i was rebranded to Ion Television.
Paxson is a born-again Christian.^[7]



(Wikipedia)

Music and magic!

When I was a little girl I skated. I skated EVERYDAY! I heard the music in my head and for hours and hours, I skated. One of my favorite Christmas gifts was actually a pair of skates from my parents. We could not afford lessons or costumes but I watched and could do a double axle (back when that meant something) with no one to catch me. We could not enter any competitions but boy I loved the music. When it rained, my heart broke. I so wanted to be outside and skate. I was definitely not your typical "little girl". My Mom sang, usually gospel songs, odd considering her upbringing but my Dad could not sing a lick. He could fix ANYTHING. I mean ANYTHING. He could build ANYTHING. (my Brother is very much like them both) Music became my sanctuary and like every child of the 80's/90's....we were the video age!

So here I am years later and I just purchased some pretty amazing Skull Candy headphones. I was an accessory buyer for Guitar Center a few years a go and bought these for our stores but as a music junkie and merchant and now testimonial....I AM SO SOLD! Check them out!

So I am going to put on my headphones and practice my tunes!

#AGT2015
#music
#phonecall

~Keep the dream alive

D

What is good for the soul!

What is you New Year resolution? Healthy cooking maybe? So I was STUCK in the greatest of crockpot country and was not home at all for the past few months so inspired! I made "healthy" chicken soup. (warning it does get "mushy" but still taste great. Its a trade off. Cooked carrots or over cooked noodles? I'll take the carrots and Germany for the noodles being slightly mushy and lets call them Badische Schupfnudeln ! LOL)


~Boneless/Skinless Chicken (Add to crock pot) I use chicken thighs They are cheaper and the meat is tender.
~Baby Carrots (dice)
~Celery (Dice)
~Mushrooms (sautéed with onions)
~Thyme
~Bay Leaf
~Chicken
~Celery
~Parsley
~Salt and Pepper to TASTE!
~Bowtie Pasta
~Baby Kale
~Chicken Stock


(YUM)

CROCK POT!

Hint....Drop noodles late.....or serve over pasta for a more al dente.


Here is to your heart!!

D

Finding your shade.....CLAY SPANN COSMETICS

I have been working in and with makeup for cough, spit sputter well over 20 years. I started on air as a model for HSN in St Pete, Florida and I remember it was a learning time for me because I was the "fair" one and I wore red lipstick on air which killed the camera's. I really needed to learn the how to's and thank goodness the network hired a makeup artist who quickly took away some of my favorite colors. I admit, I went to the "modeling schools" prior and learned how to apply at least 5 shades of shadow on each lid with great precision but for TV it just was not a good look! I worked the drill behind a makeup counter, then I worked as a cosmetic buyer, then in the manufacturing side, then VP of Merchandising so today I am a certified makeup JUNKIE! Oh, did I mention I was an on air host for Pur Minerals cosmetics in the states and Canada for a while so I can talk rather quickly about it too! LOL.

Finding your shade is so important and trust me I have been a few shades in my life. I have been spray tanned ( I love and so much better for you then TANNING!) so its also important to have options if you do spray tan. I have fallen in love with Clay Spann Cosmetics, especially his face and lips. I first met Clay in 2005 when he shot some photos of me and he is nothing short of just fabulous. I recently had some new photos done and was able to replenish and discovered some new finds! I love his new stick foundation. I love that it is not thick and glides on. I hate ANY foundation that falls into the lines (not that I have any :) so this was just a miracle stick for me! I also am in love with his nude lip collections. He has quite a few shades so it allows me to have color and helps me to not look "harsh". I have strong features so a softer approach in makeup is KEY!

Check out Clay Spann Cosmetics and Photography! He is truly magical and I am in LOVE with his cosmetic fairy dust!

http://www.clayspann.com/


Stay beautiful~