Last night Andy and I were talking. I have become slightly addicted to the flavored bubbly water (yes, I said water) from Safeway. I said to him...love the raspberry and lemon lime but I did not care for the watermelon or strawberry. He knows to never give me cherry, I HATE anything cherry.

So tonight I asked him to stop by the store on the way home to pick up a few things to include water. Feeling ever so dehydrated from my 60 minutes at 2.5 mph on the treadmill:) I was greeted by NO JOKE...strawberry/watermelon sparkling water!!!!!!!!!!!!Huh?????????????? He somehow managed to find just not one flavor I did not care for but a mix of both. As a penance I decided to just have a glass of red wine. (aka...Goblet, I so want to be a queen so I believe in drinking out of nothing less:))) Besides it is good for the heart, right?

His reply, oh I thought you liked those. Classic case of selective hearing. In the back of my mind I got it. For Christmas...honey I HATE Manolo Blahniks...really hate them. Jimmy Choos's too. Wishful thinking.

PS~ BLAH should be removed from that name!

First...I am selling a few pageant pieces on http://pageantsale.blogspot.com/. It has been a journey for me this year and I am cleansing before the new year. All items are beautiful and in incredible shape (maybe worn once?)

Next....Ok so Andy and I have been dieting and working out. Week two and might I add that I have been doing at least an hour more cardio every day and yet he has lost 11lbs and I....TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am thinking I need to bring back my wine and cheese diet from Europe. Seriously, if I eat anymore cabbage....I will leave it at that:)

There is so much going on in the news. I am afraid of Iran in general and more so because my husband is active duty, the economy is in a tough place and my ex employer is actually fighting my unemployment after THEY LAID ME OFF AFTER FMLA (with NO MATERNITY LEAVE)...although they did tell me I could reapply to a job that I was scheduled to come back to in a week but my ex boss said and I quote, "I don't feel you can find adequate childcare fore your son in a week so we need to just part ways"...huh? Was it your place to decide? Bureaucracy!!!!!

I live in one of the richest counties in the country, (literallY), my husband has been deployed FIVE TIMES and two to Iraq, my son this year spent 165 days in the NICU and I used to make a very good salary and yet I get fought on a fraction of my salary for unemployment on a JOB I DIDN'T QUIT??????? HUH???????

Ok so back to reality and off the soap box....must go clean toilets, prepare dinner,grocery shop, yell at the scale (it lies), jump on the treadmill and enjoy play time with my miracle (which I love).

Oh and run to the mail box to capture the bill of the one cc my hubby does not know I have! (kidding, kind of:)

Just another day off....oh and pay bills and taxes...almost forgot about those!

PS- If YOKO ONO gets a record deal before me...just a bad year.

The question for me today is am I OCD? I ask this because my family is in town. I love our family and even more that we are blessed to have them in our life. However, drum roar please....am I the only one who understands you should never use decorative hand towels? I mean, come on....what part of decorative, not for use is so complicated? And in answer to the question, yes, there were other towels in the mix but like gold waving in the wind....they went for the hanging decorative towels. Suddenly, I am invisioning Ben Stiller and the bathroon scene from ," Along Came Polly".

So moving on from my OCD moment, lets talk some family. Why is it that they feel they can take my son FROM MY LAP today and I had to take it. Oh wait...we were laying down together.....!!!!!! I repeat, I LOVE THEM and "some family" likes to remind me that I have no parents.....alright where is the wine? Is drinking a JUG with a screw off top tacky? Nahhhh....not with a straw.

I remember this summer I had a judge that asked me if supporting the military was still relevant. I realize that 911 was 8 years ago; however, YES I wanted to scream at them. Screaming would not have helped the obvious judgement that was sitting in front of me but HECK YES!!!!!

It is funny how it is so easy to forget what is not right in front of you or sitting on the back burner until it hits home. Meanwhile, daily we hear in the news about a possible attack on OUR transit systems, military installation, wildfires in California, natural disasters overseas and the war that continues daily in Afghanistan and Iraq. Yes, all of those situations are supported and defended by the United States Military Forces.

My life as an Army wife is not one I expected growing up. I don't live in the biggest house on the block because we move every 2-4 years. My career, well that has suffered too and hard to explain to pending employers and my family I just pray keeps the strength of the gentle man I married. My sister is active duty Army, my Brother was Navy, Brother in law just retired Navy and Uncle retired Air Force....so I get it.

Sorry, but I am on a soap box today after watching the news. We (AS A COUNTRY) allow for a sleepover on Trumps lawn, speaking at a college and yet not welcomed by OUR PRESIDENT ( I am a Republican but I still thought that stunt was rubbish by the party) and unemployment benefits to those who never wanted or applied for a job in the first place so I say HECK YES. This is a great country. What other country would this happen?

Is it relevant, ask that to a Mother who lost their son, or a wife that is left alone or a child that ask for his or her Daddy and when are they coming home. The ask yourself, is it relevant. Wait you were allowed to ask that in the first place, only in America. Now that is relevant.

Hum, military men in the military banned from smoking....

At what point is control too much control by the government? I am not a smoker and never have been. Saying that both of my parents smoked and my Brother and Sister smoke. (I think the time I rolled up a piece of paper and inhaled stopped me from ever smoking....I was young and actually did that and glad I did in retrospect:)but I don't agree. I know and understand the repercussions of smoking and have had conversations with my husband about it. He "chewed" in Iraq which I find disgusting. Regardless, I am not on the front lines, I get that there is stress involved and for gosh sakes (the Disney version) he is serving our country. My only request is NOT AT HOME and today he does neither.

Smoke in the designated areas is all I ask and not in the dining room. Take your hat off to please:)

I remember flying to Florida from Germany and there where many military personnel on the plane. We had a layover in Atlanta. A young soldier wanted a beer on the plane and they would not serve him. I DO NOT CONDONE UNDERAGE DRINKING but here is the exception and perhaps I was/am skewed from living in Europe where the drinking age is 16 for beer. If you are sacrificing your life for your country and can vote, you can have a beer. Just my thought.

USO Entertainment: Worldwide USO Sesame Tour
Sesame Street stars Elmo, Cookie Monster, and friends are embarking on a four-month USO Tour to 20 U.S. military installations worldwide.

“The Sesame Street/USO Experience for Military Families” tour — to the U.K., Europe, Hawaii, and Alaska — provides support and offers resources for military families with young children. This global installment follows last year’s highly successful tour in the U.S., which visited 42 military installations in 23 states from July to November 2008. The program helps children and families of deployed service men and women cope with the effects of deployment, separation, and reunification.

“Sesame Workshop is proud of its ongoing commitment to serving the needs of military families, and we are thrilled to partner with our good friends at the USO to bring Elmo and all of his friends to military families overseas,” said Gary E. Knell, Sesame Workshop’s President and CEO.

For more information and the tour schedule, please visit www.uso.org or www.sesamestreet.com/tlc.

Pretty HORRIFIED!

I was watching "Toddlers and Tiaras" because I can't help myself. Did the Sprinkle family really just feed STEVE the PYTHON a LIVE, FURRY RAT...right before LASAGNA as MORALE for their three girls. Really, seriously....horrified! I can't even wear FUR!

Andy is currently building a baseball shine for my son......he is so happy we had a boy!

Today is football day...yeah! Being a Gator and Buccaneer, I love it. There is nothing better than a fall day (or sort of fall day) when the air is cool and I can face my 4 inch black boots with the same love that I have for the skinny cow ice cream bars. Seriously love them. Tall, thin and they always fit. WAHOO...score!!!!!Touchdown. So yes, football season is wonderful on so many levels!

I am going to try the Sketchers tennis shoes. Finally a shoe that promotes a platform in a tennis shoe and is acceptable all the same. Football season, weight loss shoe....all good!!!!!! Here is hoping!

Ok, how is it that I ate 2 Boca Burgers and 2 Rice Cakes and consumed 500 calories????Hugh????There was no taste! This was a SNACK! Come on?????? Where are those Skinny Cow Ice Cream Cakes???? I could have consumed FIVE, YES FIVE OF THEM for that amount of calories!

So 65 minutes later on the treadmill, I started watching the "Rachel Zoe Project" taped. I loved it. What a dream, someone to dress me! No thoughts just people who get me and give me the edge. Joey from the Competitive Image has done that for me and I have been blessed to have great sponsors. In my new "Mommy" life, I am lucky if I can dress myself! Times change so quickly!


Where did I go? I actually had to apologize to Carter's physical therapist who came to the house today for not having showered yet!!!!

IN TWO DAYS!

On a different note, after watching "Survivor" tonight, I finally realized what the fitness portion of the competition should be. Survivor! As a Mrs...with your husband. Can you imagine....then the "real" competitors would come out.

Check heels here.

Being the "View" junkie I am, my first thought today is Barbara is far to YOUNG to wear the brooch. Much less the brooch that looks like a Christmas ornament attached to her chest. Seriously...come on. Back away from the brooch. She is such an amazing icon to me but the brooch, not so good.

The subject of racism came up. In light of President Carters statement, I think people are looking for an excuse or reason to have an opinion or at least a reason to blame on why they have that opinion. Much like President Carter, I was raised in Georgia and my Mom was a peach. Just because you are from the SOUTH, it doesn't mean you are a racist. I grew up in Jonesboro, Georgia....please.

I think the issue is people are afraid of the economy, the war and our future. You can not blame one person for a decision that is made by THE GOVERNMENT. I think Obama is doing a great job. Over exposed, yes but a good President, yes.

The only person with all the answers is God. We are all still learning.

Off to shower, color my hair (natural blonde of course) and pray that the scale lies to me!!!!! Good day!

Mortality....it is the unspoken part of every life that we all face. Yet, each day many set out to pass judgement or judge ourselves so hard in a world that we are so honored to be able to live in.

Like many, I was touched by the loss of Patrick Swayze. His movies were of my generation and like Micheal Jackson, iconic in so many ways. Perhaps the hardest part of losing a legend or someone who has impacted your life is you are forced to face your own mortality.

I watched the "View" yesterday and Joy mocked Madonna on her presentation on the previous days award show. When I saw the clip, I agreed. When I saw the speech in its entirety, I did not. I thought it was a good comparison as to the parallels of lives, the friendships we share and how we drift apart from so many over the years.

Since losing my parents I have had a hard time "getting over it" or "moving on" because I am still angry at them. This is my issue but also a health issue. They were 54 and 56 and made health choices that shortened their lives. I realize we all make choices that could impact our longevity. All you need to do is up size a fry and there you go. However, things are not always so simple and its the continuation of choices are what that upsets me the most. Yes, I make them too.

Mortality, Have you ever noticed that when a crazy driver speeds by you recklessly and you get to the stop light, you end up sitting right next to them? The difference is they just got there first.

How do you find yourself in a world of anonymity?

I am not a big believer in the after life. I really don't know because lets face it, until we have been there....

Last night I was consoling Carter and suddenly Andy starts singing , "Sweet Lord". What, hugh? I guess I was a little freaked because ONE Andy doesn't sing unless it was the Gambler in the NICU (insert many opinions here) but we are country though and though; however, that was the song my Mom sang to me. Just odd.

I have been missing my parents. Coindence, maybe...are they still with me, forever

I feel like my life reads very much like Doug and Carrie from the "King of Queens". Andy and I arrived back home after a long walk/run and a brief run into the store to pick up a few pre-cooked items for dinner with the family. We take turns running our bigger dog, Jack (our misfit) and running with Carter and Halo. Yes, Halo does "ride" with Carter in the stroller. So a few hours later and one pre-cooked chicken we are home, dinner in hand. Andy, being the wonderful husband he is just informed me that after a day of sports on TV (good thing I love football), I have now earned the right to have the TV for the next hour. So, the pregnant pause followed....Really, I said...hum?????Why???? Well, NASCAR starts at 7 so he gets it for the next FIVE hours!!!!!!

The thing I find interesting is we do actually have multiple TV's in our home so be it what it may, he still wants me right there with him. Watching the cars go round and round and round and round and round.....I have been to a few races and I was almost appalled at the cheer that came from the crowd when a car crashed. Perhaps a sport I just don't quite get yet. This may explain why a women in an eveining gown who falls makes You Tube. Train wreck havocs we are....

Favorite quote today given by my husband was his comment to me on all of my "nesting". What did you really do, he asked...FIVE DAYS, FOUR HOURS and 22 minutes later I replied..."Nothing honey, let me know when you find your favorite t-shirts from 10 YEARS ago":)

His reply, I just said that so I could get lucky, women love jerks...

Gotta give him that one!

I have begun my working out for the Marine Corp Marathon. Yes, I realize I should have been doing this for months or a good year (based on last year I would agree:) however reality and my fitness goals are not always in sync. It wasn't until I felt an odd feeling on my back side and realized it was actually a similar feeling that I feel on my chest without a bra that I "got it" that things may not be in the same place they once were. I have prided myself...shamelessly...on getting back into my pre-preg jeans although lets face it...when your sizes range from a 0-6, something is bound to fit. Oh, I know and I hear it coming but a 6 on me is big as I have been up to 147 lbs and still a size 6!!!! That's right, it is in print now!!!!!!

Saying that, over the past 4 days, because it took that long with an infant in tow, I began cleaning out my closet. I have at least 30 pairs of jeans. (can you say hoarder????) I have the 00,0,2,4 and 6. At one point in my life each of them fit me. I have also mastered the shopping of my favorite stores where I know the jeans run BIG. I have learned, the more you spend, the bigger they are; therefore the smaller I am. A win, win for us all! My ego is stroked, my checkbook is poked and I walk out feeling like the reigning Miss Universe minus 5 inches, 5+ years (that is all you will get from me:)))) and a winning title. Doesn't matter. I can sport a size 2, New Religion Jean at a whopping $$$$$$. I do recommend Nordstrom Rack though because I DO NOT LIKE TO PAY FULL PRICE for casual wear.

So I packed up the 00 (because after a baby EVERYONE's hips expands even Heidi Klum), my 0's and my 6's and have settled into the 2-4 range at a weight between 125 and 135. I have never quite understood how I can gain 5lbs over night but it happens. Also, BIG RECOMMENDATION.....NEVER and I say NEVER weigh yourself at Night!!!!!!!!!!!

See weight is SOOOOOO not an accurate assessment of some one's fitness level. Although I am FAR...from the fitness queens of the world but I am ok. I can and will do better but in light of my past year... I am o.k......I did get 8"s in fitness so TAKE THAT, tall skinny perfect one!:))))

So I will wait with baited breathe as too the new resolution on health care reform. Tick, tock... I am a Republican and will stand by my parents view that Reagan was the best President in their lifetime. Mind you, I was young and therefore not so effected emotionally but my parents were happy, the economy was good and I don't ever recall a conversation about health care reform when I was three. I grew up on Clinton and I shall refrain about the impression he made on me except you got to give it to a "former" who still continues to make a difference based on charisma.

I feel EXTREMELY lucky in a year that my son spent 165 day in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (5 1/2 months), that I am a military spouse. I remember when my Dad passed and we received a 250K hospital bill and when I spent a few months in and out of the hospital, it was financially and emotionally devastating and yes...we worked, had insurance and were living the American Dream. Nothing can be more devastating than health care as it is so costly, so necessary and so many times an unexpected cost that just hits you when you least expect it. Someone made a comment to me at a restaurant once when Carter was still in the NICU, "Glad to see my tax dollars at work"....well me too as I pay EVERY YEAR in the multiple digits, my husband has been deployed FIVE TIMES in 9 years, two to IRAQ and I lost my job because of the economy. ME TOO!!!! Really, YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT is what I wanted to say but I refrained and just said ....thank you for you well wishes but YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE! (love you Eddie!)

So as I sit here waiting and I am covered in today's milk by product, un-showered and my husband is serving our country (literally), I wonder...my arms don't look like Michelle's, the dancing with the Stars couple broke up , Dr Oz may not be able to help me and I am still hoping for an extreme home(an personal:) makeover....when it comes to REALITY...what is real and what is what we only hear in all that is said. Reality is life. Speeches are only as good as the definitions behind the words that are said and the understanding of the synonym's behind them.

So as an American...still listening and I am honored to do so.

Saturday was a great day. I was with friends and we were out and about in DC. We went to the War Memorial and were able to visit and see many veterans from the Vietnam War and some even from WWII. It really is something that makes this country so amazing. So many have sacrificed their lives for the sake of freedom. My friend Anka was with us and has just arrived to the US from Romania and she was amazed at the beauty of the situation. I thought it was interesting that she used the word beauty. What a true statement as one reflects on the young and the old and just the amazing gift of life, hope, dreams and freedom that lies within us all. Regardless of our nationality.

I also wanted to take the time to send out a few congrats today. Congratulations to Jennifer Naida for winning Mrs Illinois International 2010 and Shannon Beam for winning the Miss Sweetheart Pageant representing Virginia.

Happy Labor Day to all...off to pack up the white pants and white shoes! I personally think most white shoes should be banned past the age of 6 but I will admit to owning a few strappy pair. The one part of my body that I never have to worry about white making me look fat!

Ahhh the day continues and deliveries have arrived. YEAH!

So I am sitting her in my ever so exciting life perplexed about a few things. What is new, right?

If you eat an egg, did you really eat the whole chicken?

If you buy a potty patch for dogs and they can be trained to use it, what is the problem with the toilet?

If you just lost 10 pounds in 3 weeks, how can you gain back 4 in one night?

If you never "swallow" gum, how come it is 5 calories? I never count what I spit out:)

Why should we ever have to apologize for who we are when we are one of a kind?

Why is Texas toast called Texas toast when they serve bread that big with every Arby's Fresh sandwich everyday. (sporting over 700 calories a pop!)

Why is up sizing only good at the drive through when if you want to up size your life they call you selfish or over ambitious. Hum, fat or ambitious??????

I feel like I am suffering from the "should of, would of, could of" ailment. It is one of those days that I am left to wonder what I could have changed or should change in my life. Now this isn't an epiphany because to be frank, I go though this at least once a week. Usually it passes with a little retail therapy:)

I think what brought this on is the pending arrival of the oxygen man with new tanks for Carter and the always exciting delivery from Diapers.com for Carters 22k/cal formula which is not sold in stores and is priced as such.

I find myself looking at other Mother's of premature infants blogs to gain an expectation of when Carter might be off oxygen and then I wonder...what did I do to make this happen??? Carter is such a blessing and I am so proud of him but I think every Mother looks at their children in hope and prayers of giving them the best life, quality of life and maybe even things you never had. Some blogs are really hard to read or even see. The struggles they go though cannot be put into words and the journey's are just so amazing. I never really new or understood that there were so many premature infants born everyday until we lived 165 days in the NICU. Sadly, in our time, we were aware of the losses of two children born at Carter's gestational age. Someone said to me that God brought him into your life for a reason and here because he new you could handle what ever challenges that may come his way. As I look down at my little Monkey ...aka Rocky...batting his toys on his bouncy I realize I can and I will. Not an option. He is stating 98 with his hr being 154. Life is good. I will never forget the night is was at 44 @ 100% O2.

On a slightly less heavy note, I have become introduced to the Wendy Williams show this week. She is entertaining and I love her "friends in my head" analogy. To me she just should have said my Facebook friends. Well, at least the majority of our FB friends. So today after my arrivals arrive, I will sit back and reflect on the friends in my head. We will all sit around, drink a glass of wine and discuss our Grammy, Oscar and Emmy wins:!

(I post photo update of Carter almost daily on Facebook!)

Where are all the FAT MEN? I was chatting with my BFF, yes,we have them over the age of 20, but after reviewing my "edits"of magazine covers, where are the FAT MEN? No cover has a man that has that announces , "Hey I just Lost 80 pounds after giving up beer or Jack Daniels"???....REALLY??? "My wife gave birth and they have sympathy weight"...sympathy....NO ONE FELT BAD FOR ME!...

Looking for US or People to publish...FAT MAN LOOSES A LOT OF YET STILL HAPPY, NOT ALONE and the winning of the last Brownie.

Testosterone, sign here....