The sun is out today in Maryland and I am thrilled. Yesterday we were greeting by what Lois Lane called a blizzard. We are Florida gals so anything that sticks, is a blizzard! We attempted to head to Delaware were we we greeted by so much snow that we were crawling at about 20 miles an hour for the majority of the trip until we finally had to turn around. I did manage to do my first 180 on the highway. The angels were with us because no one hit us and we did not hit anyone. God is Great. Congrats o the new Mrs Delaware America. I am sorry I was unable to make it to judge but from what I had read, each lady deserved the crown and would have been a great representative so in a way it was a relief that I did not have to choose!

This past week has been a busy one. Lois Lane flew in on Tuesday to help me out while Andy was off with the military. I think everyone worries to much but I am feeling great and the idea of having a heart attack or that I did have a heart attack just does not seem real.

Carter had many appointments this week and overall, they were good. There are always ups and downs but as I have always said Carter does things in Carter time. As long as he gets there, he can take as long as he wants. We went to National Naval for visits with his pulmonologist, primary and high risk early intervention team. We are so lucky to have such an amazing group of doctors that follow Carter on his journey. We also travelled to Baltimore to visit with a Neuro surgeon for a consult on Carters hydrocephalus and the possible need for a shunt. Right now he does not. YEAH! Unfortunately, his pulmonary bleb has progressed a bit but we will push forward with his team and continue to be his biggest advocate. It is hard not to feel like there is something I am doing wrong but I know I can't go there. I am a Mom though and that is just what we do. We worry. All the time and then when there is nothing to worry about we worry why!

I also had the opportunity to share my heart story with WJLA, News Channel 8 in DC that will air on Friday the 5th. (NATIONAL WEAR RED DAY!)After working with AHA and Go Red for many years, they asked me if I would share my story. Not to be repetitious but I still am in shock. Hopefully by me sharing my story it will remind others that Heart Disease does not hold prejudice. It is important to know your numbers, live a healthy lifestyle, make the necessary changes and most of all...BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE. Listen to yourself and listen to your heart. If not for yourself, but for your family.

On a funny or not so funny side note, I also developed a rash all over my body from one of my new meds. Oh yeah...nothing like a rash ALL OVER. Yes, that means EVERYWHERE:)

Off to visit with friends and Andy is going to see AVATAR. I look forward to the day when Carter can see a movie and love it. Have I mentioned yet today that he has the best smile!!!!!

Finding strength in Mondays~

It was a week ago that I found myself in the ER about this time. It still seems like it all was a bad dream. The realization is that life is short, I am blessed and really trusting your own instincts is key to early heart detection. My Father had a heart attack starting about 9 am in the morning but refused to go to the hospital until "after work". He passed away two weeks later after double valve replacement. I think perhaps this was in my mind during the event. I can't help but think my parents were there guiding me along the way. I have to be healthy and be HERE for my son. He fought for me, I will ALWAYS fight for him.

So today is a holiday at our house because my husband is in the military. Unfortunately this also means that we get to get things done that we usually don't have time for like taking the car into the dealership. $1000 later....ugh....and many hours of him waiting....the car should be fixed. Always something, right?

I also want to address what today is. It is Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday.

(source wikipedia)

Martin Luther King, Jr. (January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) was an American clergyman, activist and prominent leader in the American civil rights movement. His main legacy was to secure progress on civil rights in the United States, and he has become a human rights icon: King is recognized as a martyr by two Christian churches.[1] A Baptist minister,[2] King became a civil rights activist early in his career. He led the 1955 Montgomery Bus Boycott and helped found the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in 1957, serving as its first president. King's efforts led to the 1963 March on Washington, where King delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech. There, he raised public consciousness of the civil rights movement and established himself as one of the greatest orators in U.S. history.

In 1964, King became the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for his work to end racial segregation and racial discrimination through civil disobedience and other non-violent means. By the time of his death in 1968, he had refocused his efforts on ending poverty and opposing the Vietnam War, both from a religious perspective. King was assassinated on April 4, 1968, in Memphis, Tennessee. He was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1977 and Congressional Gold Medal in 2004; Martin Luther King, Jr. Day was established as a U.S. national holiday in 1986.

I encourage everyone today to honor his legacy. Make a difference. Today is a day of service, prayer and thanks.

Love to all~

Deanna

I cried today and not because I am sad. It was a release for me and it felt good and scary. I just let myself go. It is hard when things come your way not to feel sorry for yourself. I have always said that it is wrong to judge someone unless you walk personally in someones shoes. For me today, I cried alone. As a Mom and wife that is what we usually do and that is ok. Because we are never alone as we are surrounded by love, God, Family and friends.

I am doing well. Home...healthy and happy.I have a stent in my heart and my groin is sore and not from anything good:) but I am good. I feel so blessed but it is ok if every once in a while I say or hope for enough! Here is to health, happiness and just a great 2010. I fear saying this as I did just 16 days ago also. I dare not challenge!

I would like to reiterate that I feel so blessed for my son Carter, my hero....my husband, Lois Lane, Amy Gregorio....Clay, Joey, Jules (both of you:) Jervaun and all the love that has come our way.

Both of my parents passed away in their 50's from heart disease. My story has begun over 25 years earlier. Trust your body, your instincts and NEVER let anyone make you feel stupid.

Life is precious

It is hard to say sometimes when the sun rises, just how your day will end up. Me, I personally like to start each day a little better and a little bit happier than the previous day. Some days, however somethings are just out of your control. First comes my disclaimer on any writing or grammar issues as I am on percocet. Don't worry, it has been prescribed:)I am in the hospital and it is 5am.

I woke up yesterday and started my day as the norm. Husband breakfast...check. Son up....check. My last antibiotic from my prescription...check. This in itself was an accomplishment considering I am not a fan of taking anything (even percocet:) but sometimes when feeling sick, you have too. I had been battling a cold/flu.

After swallowing the horse pill, I started to feel some discomfort in my chest. In my mind I went through the analogies. The pill is stuck in my throat, maybe it is anxiety or maybe it was all in my head. About 10 minutes later the pain had worsened and I found myself unable to pick up Carter.

911 and a million apologies for feeling stupid for requiring attention I found myself in the ER being told my cardiac enzymes where elevated and I in all likelihood had had a heart attack. So I had an angiographm and found out I had a blockage. Angioplasty was performed and a stent was placed. I had in fact had a heart attack.

Looking back on the past few days, a few things stand out. For one, when I came into the ER I was greeted by a rather rude nurse who assumed I probably just had a pulled muscle. I am young, healthy, not over weight, don't smoke and not diabetic. Why would I be having a heart attack? The doctors were great though and I can attribute much of that to having a lady doctor who took me seriously and did not make assumptions. Due to my family history alone, she decided to do a work up and not just send me home. They all were shocked. I was/am shocked. I still cannot believe I had a heart attack.

It is because of my family history and volunteering with Go Red and AHA that I was aware of "my" norm and when I should be concerned. That and my son. I remember just thinking I had to be there for him so I need to get this checked out. I felt stupid, silly, in pain and scared. Some initial assumptions made me feel stupid, silly and scared. Bottom line is I had a heart attack. I no longer feel stupid or silly but yes, I still feel scared. I am glad I listened to my body.

You know it is funny. The holidays come and go yet the lights and tree remain. Some are due diligent in getting everything down,labeled and carefully stored for next year, complete with an inventory list, no later that January 2. Myself, this is not the case. I did feel better as I arrived home last evening to find my neighbors with lights still up and a manager scene that looked like Santa personally landed on it; however, I realized that enough is enough. I am, keep in mind, the one who cries at all the demised trees along the side of the road. What did they do but give us joy for a month. Look what we did for them. Cast away like an old girlfriend or boyfriend to the side. No calls, no answers and even amongst all the fits of drinking and dialing we still ignore. Sad really. Which is why we do fake.

I grew up in Georgia then Florida so we switched from pine to palm and just planted them in the yard at New Years. What happened to those days?

Today my journey is to finish packing the ornaments. The tree remains lit in our bedroom and living but makes such a beautiful night light. My husband ran the lights so I can't be blamed if those aren't down yet, yet?

Anyone know what I can do with my un-carved pumpkin from Halloween that still is sitting on my porch? I think I have a problem. I love the holidays!

I may not fit into the redneck women song because I love Champagne and Victoria Secret but I will happily sit on my porch next to my pumpkin and lights darning both. While drinking champagne of course.....

I cannot believe 2010 has arrived. It is hard to believe that one year ago I was still in the hospital and Carter's journey had just begun after being born at 23.4 weeks gestation. I am filled with so many emotions of the past but perhaps the biggest thing I should learn is to move forward, learn, grow and let the bad just go.

We had a great Carter birthday week with Carter experiencing his first cake and taste of the frosting with that amazing little smile on his face. I am sure he was thinking, "hey Mom, this isn't green beans!" Ahhh, life begins and so does the journey that will one day lead me into a McDonalds where I can order a milkshake for my son and really mean it was/is for my son:)

Today I had the pleasure of facing my New Years resolution one on one. See, I vowed to cleanse and be healthy. Working out, no alcohol (maybe a glass on Friday:)and a general cleanse. I did so under the premise of MY SCALE. It all seemed so easy and then BAM...I got the flu. Now this can be good for weight loss although I don't recommend it; however, I had to face the scale at the doctors office. You know, the REAL ONE. So I faced my demon and promptly came home and started a weight loss/food tracker. I guess I should not have eaten that pizza over New Years or the bottle of champagne. Hooohum....the journey begins.

All this time I just thought the dry cleaners was shrinking my pants.

Starting weight: cough...hack...spit
Goal Weight: 90% of my wardrobe in my closet minus those really comfy sweats!