Shoe visitation

There aren't many men who will not get this but I visit a pair of shoes. Yes, it sounds weird but when a pair of shoes exceeds a car payment I have to ask myself, really? Probably twice a week I am at Nordstroms. I walk a lot so I browse a lot and there they are , the shoes. There is only one pair left so I was holding out for the sale rack. I mean how many people can be my size and want to sport a 5 inch heel? So weeks have passed and today I went to check on them. They were gone. I have pictures of them like a family member and yet there it was. GONE. Such a sad day in shoe history.

I wonder who is wearing them. Like a Birken bag, I will now. Please don't walk past me! Saturday shoe sadness.

My heart truth-

Can you imagine a child being hungry?

Its hard for me to imagine any child being without food. We all have seen commercials but it happens in our own back doors. I was speaking at a school and one of the teachers told me that she buys box cereal out of her own money to give to her students. It was heart breaking. Many students only have school to supply them with their meals so they spent a lot of their time hungry. Then with holidays, snow breaks and summer some go without enough food daily.

Obesity is a huge problem in America and it might surprise you to realize that poverty plays a huge role in this epidemic. Processed foods are cheaper so that tends to be the "Go To" food when you need to feed a family. This is why I love initiatives like , "The Teaching Gardens" from the American Heart Association and Kidsgardening.org. They help to bring gardens to schools to teach kids about vegetables and bring an element of ownership and fun. Introduction to a healthy life style at a young age benefits us for the rest of our lives.

I have been privileged to be at a few plantings at some schools and the kids are really excited. It helps them to learn about vegetables, Mother Earth and HEART HEALTH!

To learn more or help log on to www.heart.org and/or kidsgardening.org

My heart truth~

Headache, heartbreak or heartburn?

I have behaviors or patterns in my life. I think we all do. I think there is something to the saying to do the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome.  It's kind of fun to be on a different path in my life. I will admit scary, but fun. I'm different. I am hitting things head on and frankly, neither my health or anything or ANYONE else is going to stand in my way. Living and loving. There will ALWAYS be naysayers. Dreaming on!

I am changing my patterns. Listen,  I may not ever win an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy or Mrs International but I/we will enjoy the journey. You don't get me, believe in me or even care, fine. I will always care. One spot I don't want to change.

I will always care.


My heart truth

Really fresh air

Have you ever noticed that when you are somewhere, anywhere, you can always find someone staring at you. Looking you up and down and peeling you like a rotten banana. It's judgement yet interesting. I mean, don't we all judge? I am currently traveliing to a part of the country that does not sport 6 inch heels so I look like a crazy fool.  You know what they say, the higher the heel the closer to God!

So I was sitting outside this morning and it is beautiful. I could not hear any cars, the grass was so green and I was greeted by a post it on the back door that said , and  I quote, BIG RACOON Outside. What does that even mean? Will the pups be ok? Will it attack me? This also was preceded by the bear has been visiting the bird feeder again. Bear? I am pretty sure my EPI pen will not help me in this trip to the wilderness.

It is truly beautiful.

It's good to stop the music sometimes, kick off my heels and just put my feet in the grass. No bees of course, thus the EPI pen!

Forever blessed   My heart truth

The stranger who walks alone

I think I stare too much. I am always so curious as to someone's story. This may be why I like biographies! I found myself staring/ following a man the other day. I see him all the time. He looks around 80 and always walks, looks, touches with intention but is always alone. I live in a city world so I frequent the same stores, I walk to them, and restaurants. I do love that about the city and it does make people watching fun. I was walking to Starbucks  and he was there yet no coffee in his hand. Same with the grocery store. His intent is clearly to walk and get out but I wondered is he alone? Does he want coffee? Does he people watch too? I have wanted to walk up to him to say hi but that might make me seem odd to him but he seriously makes me wonder about his story.

How many people do we walk past everyday and never say hi? Who do we say hi to but can't take the time to smile? How many people walk with such conviction yet are so alone? We are all heading somewhere but why not smile and say hi?

I don't believe anyone is better then anyone else. Some people just have different opportunities. Why not just smile?

Story tellers, each and every one of us.

My heart truth. 

Chasing Life

As I sit here on this Saturday night and watching , "the Breakfast Club", I am reminded of prom season long ago and how things change and yet some stay the same. Throw back Thursdays remind me of dreams I had and next Thursday may remind me of what I did not accomplish. Lets face it, we all have a little grey in our dreams of youth but we were so inspired to make them happen at some moment in time. Some do and quite often more then you think. My Dad use to say to me that you are an inch away from success and an inch away from failure. Its your move.

I am a dream chaser and much like a storm chaser we take our chances and just pray we survive.

I am in a few groups. Heart and Stroke Survivors and Mothers of Preemies. As I read other stories I am constantly reminded as to how blessed I am. My story is just weird and this week my doctor reminded me of that. I just have bad genes and no one to talk to about it. Its not a martyr, they passed, my parents. Its a fact and much like my Mother, who was adopted, there is a blank page in my life.

It is stroke month and through heart I have met some amazing survivors. Truly humbling. Heart and stroke is so different from other ailments because it does come with a silence and varying outcomes.

I think chasing life is important. I have no clue as to what tomorrow may hold.

I am going to continue to chase life. Why not, what do I have to loose?

My heart truth~

Streets of Heaven

Mothers Day always comes to me with such a bitter sweetness. I miss my Mom but I am also reminded as to how blessed I am to be a Mom. I cannot recap without sounding like a babbling mess but my journey, like many, to be a Mom was challenging. Before my son, Carter, who was born at 23 weeks, we had 4 previous losses and hard one's. Not that any were easy but a few later in term. We spent 165 days in the NICU with Carter and most days were beyond grim. Everyday I doubted myself as they doubted how much milk I could give and talked about in rounds as I was sitting there already feeling nothing but sadness. Every Mother wants to provide. He just came so early my body could not. I also was not able to hold him for 3 months but I was there EVERYDAY and probably annoyed a few people. I always have said to Carter you fight for me I will ALWAYS fight for you. I think every acronym was thrown at us with a level of fact as if it was. I always made them say his name.

I am so blessed for my family, all my children and my life.

My niece Bella Boo is doing well and turned 9. A milestone. She has cardiac vclcad.

An organization I am proud to support is the Lollipop Foundation. They do a lot of amazing work and have a new initiative called, "SMILE, don't STARE". Uniqueness is special and should be embraced but it comes with education and awareness. Someone may not look like you, walk like you or talk like you but they are special and a simple smile is a language EVERYONE understands.

Its our universal language.

My heart truth~

What you don't see

I have had this stated to me you look fine.  I have an acyronym to fine but yes,heart survivors can look fine. Stroke not so much. Society looks at it as a moment in time. Other diseases as much worse.

I will never negate anything and certainly not anyone ailment. Ever family is riddled with Cancer, heart, Alzheimer's. We all pass. The journey is so amazingly tough. We all want a cure. We all want a sanctuary. We all pray for less suffering then those before us.

For me it's heart. My sister is a breast cancer survivor and just beyond amazing. Even with Lois Lane it's heart. Why? Cancer is a day by day horrific horrific disease. Heart does not give you a chance to say goodbye. They both strip you, take from you but I never had a chance to say goodbye. With my parents, I did not.

I am afraid everyday. I had heart surgery and look fine. What you don't see is fear.

Heart disease is the number one killer of men and women. More than all cancers combined. You can't see it. I can't either. I feel fine too. I felt fine.

My hearth truth

Would you know how to save a life?

I think almost everyone has seen a scene in a movie or on a TV show of someone administering CPR. Have you ever asked yourself, would you know how to help save a life? It looks easy enough, right? There is a training for CPR and it is simple to learn and a vital part of how you can help to save a life.

As the world leader in CPR, first aid and emergency cardiovascular care (ECC) training and education, the American Heart Association offers a variety of options for you to learn lifesaving skills. Locate a local training center to become an AHA Instructor or to choose courses for family members and friends, employees, or healthcare providers.

I decided to refresh myself on my CPR knowledge and awareness. There are so many tool available and I there is even an APP!

Remember the key to life is STAYING ALIVE!  www.heart.org !

My Heart Truth~

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