Grandma Carter

I feel like I should say something profound today. I just dont see that happening. I am sitting in what has come to be a normal place for me, and I dont say that as a martyr but just a part of life, but preparing for yet another funeral service. Our Grandmother passed away yesterday from heart disease. She went through two heart surgeries and just did not want another. Grandma Carter and yes Carter's namesake and Great Grandmother.

Good and bad things always come from funerals. After my parents there was the suicide and just the craziness. With all of that, I no longer have a sister in my life that I probably should but family wounds are the hardest to heal because they are personal and we as a human race are just stubborn.

The good is that the family will come together. We will look at each other with flaws in our mind. Did she gain weight, does he have a job, why werent they ther enough and the list goes on and on. The end of the day, we are together and probably drunk.

We and I say we because I am one of the guily one's....do not make time on a daily basis to say hey, how are you...thinking of you....love you. Yet somehow we find the time at funerals. Time to not say...hey, I love you....miss you...and so much more.

Phyliss Carter was an amazing lady, Mother, Grandma and so much more. May your golden wings fly and might I add that I hope they have shrimp and some white zin in heaven. love you.

Growing up we had some family. It was always the family that was not your day to day but your respite. My Grandpa gave me $.25 for 711 and it was the best. That and when he had me chasing squirrels tails because if I sprinkled salt on them I could pet them. That was the best in retrospect but at the time I never caught a one but spent HOURS trying:)

Carter was named after my husbands family. the "Carter's". Phylis Carter and I did marry her grandson and Carter is after her. Thomas is a joint union.

She isnt doing well and I hate this.

Please pray

Lady Gaga and Oprah

I am a music junkie and it has gotten me through so much in my life. I have come to realize the reality is not so real for me anymore but I still love me a good tune or two:)

I was watching an interview with Lady Gaga and Oprah and as a born sceptic, wow. It was honest and real.

The lady Gaga foundation, Be Brave, is amazing. I was NEVER EVER EVER the popular girl in school and frankly to this day I think my reunion invites have been lost in the mail. High
school was rough for me and awkward.

I feel blessed everyday in my life and to quote Lady Gaga, I was born this way and frankly how fun are those reunions anyway?

Cooking shows and I love them!

So I am sitting here wtching probably my 5th cooking show of the day. Even all of the morning shows have segments and some shows are just about the food. I do love me some Rachel Ray and the Chew but when they are followed by Dr Oz and the Doctors, what choices should we make?

As a heart attack survivor with a 70% blockage in my LAD and stent placed, it makes me wonder what am I doing wrong? I love Hells Kitchen and Master Chef also so my daily obsession has brought me into my night time viewing.

I work out most days and "try" to make those healthy choices but problem one is I have a child problem two a husband. My hubby certainly is not up for a pale of kale chips and soy milk when he gets home so how do you find the balance?

My new wish list is the Rachel Ray cookware set. Is it odd that I have that on my Christmas wish list? My only request is with her 30 minutes mels, fab personality and the Rachel Ray show, can we not do a heart healthy show or two? There is Gluten free but what about a segment on tasteful heart healthy dishes. AHA has many and would love to see them featured. I am no better than the norm and I need reminders to but heart healthy goes way beyond egg whites.

My dream cooking show...Rachel Ray cooks for Dr Oz...for the military! Well until then I'll just keep looking for my Rachel Ray cookware:)

Heres to your heart!