My secret crush on Bobby Flay

He may be my pass but don't we all want to eat what looks good. Lol. I am loving cooking or should I say designing and I think have become addicted to all things food. It's kind of fun. So my Bobby Flay is like Rachel Ray to me.  They can do nothing wrong. Home cook verses Iron Chef. This brings me to my new love. Short ribs. I grew up and as an adult have always thought of ribs as a grill thing. Who would have thought a pressure cooker would be the savior!

As a new cook, dare I say chef...key essentials.

• Patience
• Good knifes
• Food processor not to be confused with a blender
• Pressure cooker
• Iron skillet
• Great spices! 
• Great wines! 
• Treadmill :)

You can do it an be heart healthy. Remember,everything in moderation! 

My heart truth

D

Being a Father~Happy Birthday

My Birthday always comes with so many thoughts. A lot of my Dad. His Birthday was April 1st. I remember the stories of him not wanting me born on the same day. He also shared the day with one of his 4 Brothers. My Mom was adopted and I know that had its burdens. My Dad was a workaholic, smart and with a very strong temper. My Mom did have that too. The Cherokee in her.

When I was 16 I ran away to Canada. It was not a Pat Benatar song but I did kind of feel it. My  Brother and Sister joined the military and I was left alone. It was hard. I ran away to sleep not to sleep with. I did runaway with a girlfriend to Canada. I just wanted to sleep through the night.

My friend and I were in New York when we had to call her parents. 

In 7th grade in Georgia, my parents owned a business with my grandparents. It was like a kick in the night and we moved to Florida. It's was like moving from a big house to small and so vague. We did not get a reason.  We moved a few times in Florida. My siblings had their journeys and all I wanted was to believe in something more. I grew up skating and we could not afford it. When we got to Florida I was smart but so emotional. I was an outcast. 

I try to gain clarity of the men in my life. My Dad drove me in a very stern way. I am blessed for that in so many ways. My Brother is very much the same. Much like  my Grandpa's and Andy, they love me through everything and have never left my side, My Mom was adopted and I times I questioned that myself. It always amazes me when a grown man makes a choice to discard a child. All for ego.

What would you regret? What do you think about? Who do you think about? Would you pick your career over a person? If it were your own? What do you say one day when they knock on your door? Hey, I had great promotions. Hope you were well. Who is that person?

I sang this song for my Dad when I gave up a local Miss America crown

 

There are so many great men and women. Count your blessings and love those in your life.

To my Daddy. Happy Birthday. Your heart gave out but your love never did. You fought for me and I will carry on and fight for you and my family. I miss you so much. You were never an April fool, you were my King and the greatest man I never knew.

Golden wings.

Rainy days on Saturdays always make me smile:)

Being a self proclaimed Floridian, I have always loved the rain. I should clarify, warm rain. It reminds me of the beach and just relaxing days. In Florida, during the summer months we get rain but it passes. They are summer storms that feed the humidity. After this winter, I will not longer allow myself to complain about the heat. If it's warm, I'll take it!

I have been a wake for a while hence a crying child over night and my over crazy thoughts in my head. I did manage to find my glasses in the crib this morning. Guess where I slept last night! Hey who does not love some great cuddle time. I did manage to get some reading in and I am continuing to process the new move. I have to admit, for the first time in a long time I am so excited. Let's just hope my vision is not too cloudy when I look back in the future. It just is going to offer a freshness and it's time!

I have a lot coming up with the American Heart Association which should also be great. With this weather, I am hoping the Celebrity Golf Tournament brings with it some sunshine! We also have Lawyers Have Heart and Hearts Delight Wine Tasting and Auction. I feel so blessed to work with and formally for such a great organization. I am a heart and stroke survivor because of the work the AHA/ASA does. I am happy that my eyes are so much better and I am finally off the treatment as of two days ago. My stomach has been a mess to I welcome the healing process!

On this rainy morning, I am feeling blessed for the love in my life, for the family and friends around me and looking forward to a great week. God has given me a lot of lessons in life. Sometimes it's what that is front of you that can make you great. Let's just avoid the land mines!

My heart truth- d

Has anyone ever written anything for you.........................

Music and cooking are a part of me. Its comfort in art. I have written songs. Expressed songs and lets face it you can come off a but unhinged to some if they are not open to the lyrics, not so much the melody.

When I was young, today is my Birthday, so not feeling so young but I was a journal writer. Before Facebook. I have always loved autobiographies. I have always felt there is something to learn. As a parent, I have learned that even more. Don't we all wish that every child came out with an owners manual. Yep, that's not happening! I spoke with my Grandmother today. She said something I never heard before. If I were your Mother, I would have been better to you. Hurt but I wonder about that. I have always gotten lost in music. It's was skating, writing and just a very sad childhood. They did their best. I have never doubted that but also why I will also fight for my family. Always. No one should ever feel alone in the dark and never a child.

I had an unhinged moment today. First, it was not me but a conversation. It was someone who was cold. It was a Father who wants nothing to do with his child. EVER. He by all rights is impressive but it just makes me so sad. His family is accepting of his behavior and he is not young. How are people dismissed so easily?

This probably is why I write so much. My Brother did too. I hope he still does. There are stories in everyone and yes they can be uncomfortable, martyr like, bitter but there is also happy and blessed.

I can't and won't ever get hurt or hate. I'll do your hair and you will hate me but at the end of the day, I could never hate you.

My hate is missing someone. I miss my parents. I DO HATE THEY ARE NOT HERE. I don't hate them. Just left confused at my lessons but I will get them .

Has anyone ever written a song for you? Even if seems so meaningless to you, listen to the words.

Listen to your heart. Your heart truth.

The Go Red for Women Cookbook!

First and foremost, its not just for Women. I was so excited to receive this edition as a gift from American Heart Association and more excited to cook with it! As a new student of the culinary arts and one who is obsessed with my weight because I battled an eating disorder as a teenager, to me its important to find balance and health. Listen, I will NEVER be the skinniest, tallest, prettiest or richest but I do hope to make some strides in my health. Fairest, I may come close!

I have never found comfort in food. Maybe in a good pair of shoes or a glass of champagne but food to me has been a struggle. Having lived in Europe for many years gave me a unique palette. Cheese to me is the new chocolate. My issue with food is I hate feeling full. So with all the new recipes I am incorporating a lot of veggies and lean meats. Yes I have tried everything but balance is the key.

I have been plummeted with meds because of my heart, eyes etc so I decided to create my own medicine. HEALTHY EATING! Medications and treatments have made me ridiculously sick so on my third day of a medication cleanse, my eyes are not red and I have not purged on anyone. I think the Zoo was my last straw, sorry Joannie! Love you girl.

Purging and a picture of what's for dinner tonight may not be the ultimate post, LOL, but I a having fun with health!

80% of our life health we have control of. 20% is out of our hands with heart. I'm taking control. Its got to be exhausting to hear me complain!

Next up....Lawyers Have Heart 10K. Yep, some of them do!

My heart truth~D

Animalistic time at the ZOO!

Today was such a nice day as we headed to the zoo. It could not have been better weather and all of the kids had a great time! The Smithsonian Zoo in DC is free and offers a lot to see including the Panda's! Yes, I considered buying a Panda hat or two or three! It was a great family day with great friends. Joannie came to visit from Tennessee and Judy from MD. It was also a great way to get some exercise that did not feel like exercise at all! My favorite of the day was a monkey that was just free ranging in the Amazonian exibit.

Blessed for today and everyday

Here's to your heart

Agh no you didn't just say that?

Since 2001, I have been volunteering, advocating, employed by and spokesperson for the American Heart and Stroke Association. It started with me and my Mother and Father. I think I new EVERY hospital in the St.Pete/Clearwater area. In Florida, trust me we have a lot! It was not my story. It was not something that I could fathom. They looked fine. They were parents. They looked like parents. They passed in 2001 and 2006. 54 and 56. WAYYYYY to young and they didn't drink, were not diabetic, not over weight but yes stress, smoking and my Dad's workaholic state put a tremendous amount of stress on their bodies. My Mom's first stroke she was in her 30's. I was too young to remember much at all but I think she , like I, just carried all of her stress with her everyday. We as humans are capsules. We take everything in. Literally we take it to heart. Without going all Deanna drama, my parents were alive when I had my first case of stress from a bad accident.  My Mom had just had valve replacement, I was in the hospital on and off for months in Chicago and it was like arms reaching out with no one there. My Dad was such my savior. He got me home. That was a journey. (Jerry Springer anyone?)

I honestly never thought, hey, I have heart disease...hello???? What does that mean?

So fast forward and yep, here I am in 2014 after stent placement, 2 surgeries in my LAD and speaking about heart disease in women. Difference is, I am a Mother so maybe I was listening this time. So I am doing an interview at NBC Washington which was just a great experience BUT the cardiologist sitting next to me on air stated the longevity after stent placement was 2-5 years. I was in the middle but I swear you could have seen me doing the math in my head followed by HELLO I AM RIGHT HERE! My first surgery was done in 2010 and then in 2013. Does it just close? What does that mean? Is there not a detour here sign?

My other Mother Judy texted me today to remind me its our Birthday month. Oh no, its happening, I'm 29 again and she better stick around too!

What am I truly doing for my health? What am I repeating? How do I change? What am I changing? Lifestyle choices. What can't I change history. What I don't want to repeat, history.

Here's to your heart~

D

My Brother rocks. Let's not tell him.

Families are tough. We don't pick them, they just are. That always comes with challenges. My family comes with so much grey it's hard to see black and white. I don't and will never get some of the separation that had nothing to do with my siblings or I and my Mom's family is and will always be a question. I hate that for my children. Antkowiak and Lee. That's all I have.

I have never been perfect and continue the reign but gain great strength from my brother Todd. I can't fully explain our relationship but so blessed for his choices in life ( Lois, Danni and Benjamin) and he walked me down the isle and held me with a stupid fake turtle and hung with me on Easter mornings. He can play any instrument and yet can't read music. He is amazing on so many levels and paints or use to without fear and writes with such passion. I could not be more proud of anyone in my life more than my Brother Todd. You have no idea how special you are. I love you. You are just so talented, humble and loved. Thank you for always be there for me.

National Walking Day!

Its funny, whenever I am sad, sick, tired or just having a blah day, the one thing that ALWAYS makes me feel better is WALKING! Walking just 30 minutes 5 days a week can make a huge difference in your overall health! The American Heart Association's NATIONAL walking Day is April 2, 2014! Its a perfect time to start walking!

Time to go by those new walking shoes and get moving!

Here's to your heart!

D

Heart Disease Facts (www.healthline.com) . What are you doing for your heart today?

Teaching Gardens and the AHA

In all of my doctors appointments lately (yes, I did want to punch a young resident  this week as he said to me there is nothing more we can do as long as you are taking all your medications) but instead I just cried; however, it got me thinking about natural health remedies and what we eat. I have been having so many side effects from my treatments and medications and then they give you another pill to offset the effects...its a spiral effect. When my Mom passed she was taking TWENTY SEVEN pills a day. I am up to 10. It reminded me of food. I know, its hard to believe but food can heal. Growing up in Georgia my Mom was a southern cook. FRIED was our dinner and Crisco was a staple. She also made us eat chicken liver but fried it just tasted like a bad mussel. The one thing I remember clearly, mostly because I got to pop beans for HOURS was my Grandparents farm. They had a huge garden and every year we got so many fresh veggies. They also had grape vines so we could eat right off the vine and often did. OK so the crab apples made me really sick but I think I ate about 50 of them but there is something amazing about fresh fruit and veggies. Its hard in the winter to grow things but it can be done. Spring is coming so my goal is to start my new garden and teach my family how fun it can be!

The American Heart Association has a lot of incredible tools and a lot of incredible initiatives. One that is important to me are the Teaching Gardens. Through fundraising efforts, the Teaching Gardens are put in schools that may not have access to fresh veggies and help to teach the children how fun health can be. If they plant it and watch it grow, veggies become a part of their diet in a way that is fun and healthy! This can be done at home too!

I won't fry food for my family even though I love to cook and I know those options are just a part of almost every menu. My goal is to make food fun, nutritional and a part of a healthy lifestyle that can help to prevent so many ailments in our lives.

About the teaching gardens:

Obesity is one of the most expensive health care problems in America. One third of U.S. children are overweight or obese putting them at higher risk of heart disease and stroke.

The American Heart Association is taking a new approach in the fight against childhood obesity. We’ve teamed with noted child-nutrition activist and philanthropist Kelly Meyer to create the American Heart Association Teaching Gardens planted in elementary schools across the country that become real-life learning laboratories for students to learn what it means to be healthy.

Aimed at first graders through fifth, we teach children how to plant seeds, nurture growing plants, harvest produce and ultimately understand the value of good eating habits.

Garden-themed lessons teach nutrition, math, science and other subjects all while having fun in the fresh air and working with your hands.

Together, we can dramatically change the way America thinks about and consumes food.

To learn more log onto www.heart.org

Here's to your heart and your health~

Deanna

Only human