Deanna Linz~TV Host and Pageant Coach

I am sitting in the surgical waiting room at Walter Reed with so many thoughts that are going through my mind. We have been here almost a week and at some point it all just becomes a blur. I am happy that Carter seems to be ok with the change of scenary although I am sure he would like to once again feel the comfort of a full tummy. They stopped his feeds last Saturday in preparation for surgery and unfortunately due to complications, his surgery was moved until today. This gave his lungs time to be in the best shape possible and for that reason alone I am ok with it. He was smiling this morning but of course this was before they came in to attempt to draw blood and put drops in his eyes. (While Carter is sedated they are also going to take a look at his eyes.) The Nissen I have been told takes about 3 1/2 hours. Oh yeah...so I am sitting here worried and waiting.


I am carrying around Carters glow worm which is randomly going off no doubt making others wonder if I don't belong on another floor. We went to get coffee and a guy saw me kiss it and he winked at me. Yes, I looked a bit odd but I do find comfort in having it close to me as it is always close to Carter. Keep in mind I also travel with Halo, my first born pups (my favorite but don't tell Jack:), favorite doggie toy. Maybe I do need therapy. My husband often kids me that I probably shouldn't take her "favorite" toy.  What we Mothers do because we love our little one's so much!


I do have to wonder why waiting rooms are always so cold! The temperature gauge is of course guarded by the locked box so I have no chance of warming up what is a very chilly situation. There are a lot of people "waiting" so the room is filled with an awkward silence and the anticipation of a phone call or visit from a doctor carrying really good news. Its an odd feeling. Reminds me of flying. Once you are up in the air, you have no control. It is all in the hands of God.


So I am praying. Praying for our little plane to soar and land safely back home. May God watch over Carter, protect him and make him feel safe during the surgery. Mommy prays for a safe landing with no turbulance.