Today was a momentous day, Carter had an appointment with the Neurologist, so I showered...yes all of me. My hair was the biggest task especially using SUAVE. That's right, I have begun to clip coupons and use Suave. It was disastrous. Lets face it, some corners are just not made to be cut with long hair. I think I did more harm to the environment using the gallons of water I used to get out almost half the bottle of conditioner I used. Granted, combing my hair over the past few days may have helped but I felt I at least gave due diligence to the commercialism of what products say they can do....and what they can't:(
So as I sat waiting, because I was late of course, I was reading through emails on my IPHONE. ( a product I love) I ran across one from someone I know asking advice on a world some know as "VOY" others know it as the , "evil spawn of satan that lies within some that allow the posting of hateful comments in the name of free speech".
I know we all love to tell our children or perhaps we have heard it from our parents, that how people are in high school is not how they will be or who they will remain when they grow up. Really???? Can anyone say MEAN GIRLS ALL GROWN.
Voy is a TABLOID...for lack of a better description. Starting about three weeks prior to Mrs International I became somewhat of a point of discussion. I had no shine, my fertility, my days were over (what am I 90????) and that I would do nothing, nada, ZERO....My personal favorite was that maybe I was the moderator myself. Why yes, my lifelong dream is to WRITE THINGS ABOUT MYSELF ACROSS THE WORLD WIDE WEB THAT WOULD INCLUDE MY FERTILITY, MY CHILD AND ME BEING A WASH UP. Silly...it would have read something like this....skinny, perfect, cindy crawford type with the IQ of EINSTEIN and married to the king of xyz...seeks the position of Mrs International 2009. Come on, see how silly....oh voy....
Then during the pageant itself, people commented on my SMILE, yes, my smile...why does it never change you ask??? It looks the same ALL THE TIME. Well, its a SMILE for gosh sakes.....it shouldn't change, I was SMILING! Gesh....The sad thing is, I am aware of a few moderators and asked one to remove it when it started. She told me she was too busy and I should just focus on winning and stop reading them. FINALLY, about a day before I left, it was removed...THREE WEEKS LATER....yes, a "friend" I met through pageantry.
OK so my thoughts....most who have ever done a pageant or have been around a pageant at least know of voy. We HATE IT, we claim we never read it, we never post and it doesn't bother us...all of which is a lie...except maybe the posting which I don't do because trust me...they know who you are and even the kindest of statement can turn into ugly. What worried me was that often judges come from the pageant world and they may have formed an unfair opinion of me based on what they read. Like it or not, this is reality.
There are so many beautiful ladies and gents in pageantry. Some have become some of my best friends; however, like every sports team and/or social situation, there will always be someone who "enjoys" knocking you down if they can, especially if they don't have to sign their name. If only judges could really see who they are but then again, we put ourselves out there to be judged. So we need to deal with it or stop competing. It is just life.
Yes, pageantry is fun....five to six complete strangers judging us in five minutes. Then we spend the next few months judging ourselves for a judgement that was made on us in FIVE MINUTES by complete strangers....
You can never stop what someone writes about you (ok sometimes you can if you have a good attorney) or assumes about you in what they read. You can only control WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE and HOW YOU ARE TO OTHER PEOPLE. So my suggestion is to just be yourself, respect each other, love your family, friends and God( what TRULY MATTERS) and get out there and live life. If that includes a pageant, good for you. At least you have the courage to do what some only write about.
In closing....a quick update on Carter, he is having an EEG this week. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers but realize that there is NO HURDLE you cannot get through with love, faith, family and friendships. He may have had a seizure but this is something that is treatable. He just smiled at me so we are doing good....keeping it real.
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