January is such a tough month for me because for the past 5 years it always has brought with it "something" and never a ringing of the New Year and all is bright. Maybe it just has been a reminder but I for one am done with anything but champagne toast and caviar dreams! Ok, I did not have control for sure. On January 2, 2009 at 3:18 am my little man arrived at 23 weeks ( he was due in April) and thus followed 165 days in the NICU and I cannot tell you the worries, heartaches and pain. On January 12, 2010, I had a heart attack and stent placed in my left anterior descending anterior due to an over 70% blockage. In January 2013, I had a stroke and ended up in the ICU for a week.
My body and January, well it rebuttals. I can't blame it, it has take abuse over the years and my family history screams at me but January is ROUGH!
So my heart, besides the fact that I wear it like a tattoo sleeve and is fragile, its fragile. I was bulimic as a teenager and then there is stress. My parents both passed of heart disease (both Valve) but one cannot ignore a few things in life when it comes to your own body.
I like almost everyone also has the Cancer history in my family. My paternal grandma is amazing. Two rounds of chemo, one heart surgery, one President ( my Grandpa Floyd J Pemberton received an award) and two husbands. An amazingly strong lady who just turned 89! I was so happy to spend time with her in December! A true matriarch!
So what will this January bring? It feels new. Its feels different.
I/we took December and had an AMAZING month with family.
I think I have many hopes for this January~
~breaking the cycle~
D
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