I have received some personal feedback lately as to my experience, ok, vast experience in the wonderful world of pageantry and some does equate to life. I have met some non pageant just mean people in my personal life so I think unfortunately reality sometimes just shines a light on a "hobby", yes a hobby or sport if you will when in fact there are "meanies' in all aspects of our lives. People shun their own children, don't open doors for a stranger or take someone down in the work place. Lets not blame it on a crown in sash because on the opposite side I have made some amazing TRUE friends because I have put myself out there. That alone makes it worth it to me.
I have never owned, run operated, press operated , moderated etc ect any sort of social media VOY board but boy over the years have I been accused of owning them all. We can add that to my fake heart attack, fake births, fake strokes....heck....why although I can't seem to win a pageant I have not won an Oscar by now who knows?
Here is my top of not what to do:
1. Don't wear your heart like its your end all be all. People will take it from you in EVERY walk of life. If you allow yourself to be a victim, guess what...ding ding ding....you are one and they will then call you a victim and the circle just comes back to bite you.
2. Time. When is it your time? Relationship? Job? Pageant? Dream? Some we have no control of. We age out. Some well, they age out of us. We become to old for them. Its not that we aren't as good or as passionate but there is a new wave and our time is gone. Don't take that as a bad thing. I have been told you are too fat, too skinny, aren't worth the air I breathe (forever my recent favorite), you are nothing, your too nice, too kind, too sensitive....TOOOOOOOOOO everything yet you are NOTHING. Yes, told that too even in actions. You know what I say, because this is my blog F*** them. You really don't know me at all because you are just TOO STUPID too know that.
3. SHUT UP. Seems Clear. Seems OBVIOUS. Don't call, text, tweet, post your new or old BFF or boyfriend. Geez, don't add vino into the mix. Have you not seen Game of Crowns? These people are not your friends especially pre and post pageant week. Back away from social media. BACK AWAYYYYYYYYY.........
4. Pageant suggested vendors. This is tricky for me because I have been hurt/stung but I would still recommend them. This is where you need not be so sensitive and keep your business hat on. Just remember everyone talks. Again. get your job done and keep your mouth shut and opinion to yourself. They actually are pretty amazing. If you want the best, use the best and that is all.
5. DRAMA. Who the heck likes drama? No one likes drama and I am sorry but it will hurt you. Refer to all of the above and I have done them and taken myself down. I literally had someone tell me they hate me AT A PAGEANT, ON STAFF. LIE BETTER...I knew she did but could you not fake it.... at least fake it a bit more? Maybe we girls are better at faking it? Seriously. Don't cry, don't do anything. Put your big girl panties on and walk away.
6. Don't buy into hype, theories or conspiracies. Geez. I was still hated and went for it. There is one winner. Period. There is always ONE winner. Period. ONE MVP. PERIOD. Sucks for the rest of us but much like my lottery ticket, I just say ok and move on.
7. Don't ever doubt yourself . Why? If you walked into a job interview, had a bad date, a bad one night stand, a bad panel interview, would you care if YOU walked away? Never let anyone else determine your self worth!
8. Don't ask why...a lesson is learned in every thing. A moment of time does not define you. Time determines who you are meant to be. Treasure it.
9.Don't ever stop believing.
10. Platform. This is interesting and ALWAYS a debate. Platform pageant verses beauty pageant? OK, its a pageant. Do they really want an ugly queen? Honestly? LOOK the part!!!! It does not mean you need hair extensions or plastic surgery just look the part. Honestly the platform, in my humble opinion is to show you have two stones in your head during your year of reign. Different judges ask different things. I had two judges this year that cared more about my dogs and Karaoke then my work with the American Heart Association. Karaoke could have been my platform for all they new. 99% of the work I have done with the AHA/ASA has been without a crown. As a survivor I find that to share my story and to advocate I have not needed the crown because I have worked directly with the affiliate and hospitals. Where I do find the crown beneficial is for the kids. Every USO event, dance, Gala...anything a queen might attend and create a smile. Lets be honest, know your platform, know your charity but a true person committed to a cause for the right reason its not about the snap shot. Its about the job. What NOT TO DO is be the SNAP SHOT QUEEN. That is one thing I HAVE NEVER BEEN but I have seen a lot of that. Don't BS a judge also. A non profit IS NOT GOING TO FLY YOU EVERYWHERE TO RAISE AWARENESS. Why, THEY NEED THE MONEY FOR THE CAUSE! That's YOUR JOB!
12. MOST IMPORTANT....DON'T EVER STOP DREAMING!
13. And final...and the truth...people aren't there for YOU. This may be harsh but they are not and you must own it. There is no prince to save you, no fairy god mother to grant you your wish and no fairy dust. Life just does not work that way. People are going to hate you. People are going to walk away. People will be richer, skinnier, prettier, come from better families, have "lived" their platforms, be more fit, walked on water....GET OVER IT! People have stories and can cry on cue. People walk away much the same. YOU CAN ONLY OWN YOU. YOU CAN ONLY BE YOU. PEOPLE CAN ONLY LIKE YOU or vice versa. Just be you. If you spend so much time and money trying to figure out who you should be you might forget who you are. I did.
My HEART TRUTH~
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