Im going to love you through it

I do believe that God has a plan and people walk into our doors for a reason. The realization of how true this is is just remarkable. I was listening to Martina McBride's song, "Im gonna love you through it" and it reminded me of the blessings in my life. It also reminded me of Footprints in the Sand.

Day by day, like we all do I walk a path and only hope that it is right. I make mistakes, I am human but also know that no matter what, God does not judge but he does love if you are only open to being loved.

Anyone who truly knows me, knows that there is a song for everything, every moment and every minute. As I start to get my head around things, the one thing I know for sure, the love of friends, family and faith will guide me through.

Last week was a bit bumpy and I also had a slight accident. My fault, tire issue and well we are all ok.

I am blessed and remain blessed.....so for my heart and at time's messed up head :) I will always love you through it because I am never alone and nor should you be.

Remain blessed and here's to your heart.....

Up next Illinois Intl and Walter Reed Dinner.

D

A Valentine gift for me...serving those who serve

 

With 1st Sergeant Christopher C Howlett and LT Col Chaz M Holland, Jr

 

I have been volunteering with the non profit group Armed Forces Foundation for 6 years. They are an amazing group that does so much for so many. I was first introduced to them by Joe & Monika Finch who give so much to those who are serving or who have served in the United States Military Services and their families. As a military spouse who has lived in MANY locations, it is the families and organization's that always make you feel like you have support and you are never alone



I was also presented with a challenge coin!

Thank you to WRNMC and Lt Col Holland!












I was invited to help serve Valentines Dinner at the Walter Reed National Medical Center and it was a true honor! Panera Bread donated the food and by the end of the night...all the food was gone! Desert was donated as well by Cake Love and looked amazing! He has even been featured on Oprah so that was a huge hit!!!!

I invited Hannah Brewer Dell, Miss Maryland Teen USA 2013, to join us and boy did she bring on the smiles!!!! Thank you Hannah. Did I mention that I believe she will be our next Miss Teen USA? I have had the privilege of seeing her involvement with the American Heart Association also and I can say for a fact that she not only beautiful on the inside but the outside too. I also was able to spend some time with Darlene Deeban whom I love dearly. She is a former Mrs Galaxy and just a beautiful soul! Her son was also there helping out.

I know some people call Valentines Day a Hallmark created event but actually its so much more. To love, be loved and create a smile....in my opinion Valentine's Day should be every day. Also, I have to admit, I am a sucker for a big red heart:)

Here's to your heart~

Deanna

Zumba for Your HEART!

One of the most important things you can do for your heart is exercise so of course I was excited to have been invited to speak at Zumba for Heart Health~Wear Red Day Event. Thank you so much to Debi Bevins and Victorine Clarke for including me!!!!!

 Yes, they even let me wear a zumba scarf. Great fun, a great workout for a great cause!

Here's to your heart!

D

It has been a busy few days as heart month is in full gear!!!!! Friday night, I attended Crystal Couture in Crystal City on behalf of the American Heart Association and Go Red for Women. I had the pleasure of finally personally meeting Andrea Simba Wongsam, a fellow survivor who's story is truly amazing.

I had the pleasure of co-hosting this event in the past which is full of fashion, bling and the best crowd. I encourage you to check out www.crystalcity.org! I love Crystal City!

Thank you to Roxy, Senayt, Jessica, Andrea and Steve for making the night such a great one!

Always remember to GO RED! www.goredforwomen.org

Heres to your heart....D

Did I really make the Ravens win? So not! :)))

The heart never trumps history, you have a choice to make it. Thats all of our choices.

I was watching the Superbowl and wow what a game and I was conflicted. I am an East Coast girl but Steve Young , a former Buc and 49r...well conflicted. Throw in the blind side and you got me!

I love a good game, a little history and a little belief

I am so looking forward to this week, a zumpa thone, crystal couture, Macys and a great week with my Father in law who gets to stay with me while my Mother in law is doing a girls cruise.....

Life is good, life is short (wow that sounds sad) but I hope you join me soon!

Walter Reed is also coming up on the 14th! Please thank a soldier and their family!

With heart

D

Heart Month and life as we know it

Sometimes its hard for me to believe that life is what it is. I mean, we all go through a lot "our journey" if you will but you can't help but ask why sometimes. I say that not as a pity party but why? Was or is there a lesson for me, what is my take away? I have said this over the years because yes I miss my parents everyday and they died far too young. Genetics, I got both sides and because my Mom was adopted, some things will always remain unclear.

So two years ago January, I had a heart attack and stent placed due to a 70% blockage in my left anterior descending artery. Also called the "widow maker".  True to the tradition of January, a few weeks ago, 2009 my Carter love was born 4 months early and spent the next 6 months in the intensive care unit, I had a stroke and seizure. What started what, I am not sure but because of great friends that I was on the phone with, probably helped to save my life. They have become part of my family so thank you Juliana, Walt, Jules, Caroline and Mac for finding your way in my life. I feel so blessed and minus my new front door, gotta love a friend who will do whatever it takes, I am ok. I was given TPA and spent a few days in the ICU but I am ok. My left side, still not up to par but I have always walked with a limp anyway. Gives me character and a further reason to sport my 5 inch heels. Believe it or not, the heels off set the limp and my husband and I always kind of chuckle that this is my excuse..

Tomorrow heart month begins. Obviously for me, its very personal. Honestly, if it weren't for my work with the American Heart Association and knowing my numbers and history, I am not sure where or if I would be here today. Dramatic, probably, but laying in the ICU and just thinking about my life, twice now, it does aid in some clarity.

I have a beautiful son, a husband serving in Afghanistan, a family who flew in and drove in to take care of me, friends (AJ,Jules, Bethany) and those who respected my privacy and so much to live for. If sharing my story can help to bring the reality that life is short and trust in your body, your heart, your mind and your gut...then it matters.

I will never forget the two worse days of my life. One was when I took a breathe after my Dads valve replacement outside the hospital, sitting in the bench thinking everything would be ok and receiving the call from Lois that my Mom had been found deceased after surgery at the house. I can't remember where I parked on most days but those days I will never forget and can even tell you what I was wearing.

As my days move forward, I pray that I am never someones worse day. It IS important to know your numbers, take care and make healthy choices but most of all LISTEN TO YOUR HEART and head.

Thank you again to Adventist Health care, my family , friends and God....yes, faith carries me everyday.

Here's to your heart...Deanna

Twas the Day before the Night before Christmas

I woke up this morning in what I would call my seasonal funk. The skies were grey, the news was grey, memories of my parents who passed, grey, my husbands deployment, grey. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was grey. As a parent of a special needs child sometimes even when things aren't personal,they are personal because it hits so close to home and my heart breaks for them. Just grey. Seriously, Christmas can be a tough time of year especially when your are surrounded by the Hallmark Channel and LMN. I cried at Bambi and the Lion King so, go figure, I cry at many many many holiday films! So I sat back and thought, Andy always tells me when I am not feeling well (or Grey), get out and walk and drink a lot of water. This comes from his wrestling days but it does work! He went to West Point and wrestled for them and before each match he would walk and drink a lot of water and so I did.

Carter and I walked and walked. I went for a last minute grocery store stop for my Christmas dinner and I went to Starbucks. Gotta love a Starbucks. No, I did not buy the $400 gift card but what to my wonder eyes did appear but a GIANT Snowman cookie that was shedding no tears. So I bought it, ok two of them. At 390 calories a piece, that is my Christmas Day meal and although not "heart healthy", oh so good for the heart.

After Starbucks, we continued to walk. I found myself saying Merry Christmas to what is probably a 90% Jewish Orthodox community and was greeted by so many smiles and returns. After all, who does not love a good Hannukah bush;)

As Carter and I strolled back to the house with the cookies, my ice coffee and groceries in tow...its started to snow. Our first in DC for the season and I smiled and Carter laughed. What Christmas lights that were lit you could see in the daylight and I felt like I was in a greeting card.

My phone started to ring and I looked down and it was Skype. It was Andy. 1000 miles away, literally and he was walking with us.

So on the day before the night before Christmas, the grey turned to light and Santa does exist. As Andy said to me, we have us, we have our furry family, we have our little man and we have 55 plus more years together.

I am so blessed

The Heart Truth

Life and heart health

I questioned posting about this because I am always concerned about how I may look. Too desperate,  too sad, too sick when in fact I am none of the above. What I am is a normal women who has had normal issues.  I use the word normal loosely. To clarify, I am not special and these problems happen every day to women ( and men) everywhere. I have had many fertility issues, heart issues, shingles and most recently the confirmation that at a moment in April when I just thought I was too stressed, my brain MRI shows "markers" that I indeed had a stroke....again.

After April, I re-evaluated my life. I lost what I thought were friends who were at the hospital on that day because frankly people don't like sick and they certainly don't like an emotional break down. I was so scared and all I could think of was my son and husband. I was blessed that after some time I regained all my functionality and just went straight into nut case mode. I was so dedicated to my obligations in life that I showed back up in the very same ER dressed as Heart Man because that was my job and I had to be there. This after leaving AMA just 9 hours earlier. Yes, there was probably a different room I should have been in. What can I say, I have always been committed...ok ok, maybe at time I should have been committed!

I am petrified of hospitals because my parents never left  so I will give myself a little slack. Carter also spent 165 days plus plus plus in moments of question. So a good patient I am not. Just ask my PCM who gladly told my husband prior to deployment that I am not. It took me 7 mos to follow up on April but like many I just figured if I was functioning and they had not called me, I was fine.


The reason why I am writing this is because I advocate for heart health and yet I have not been great with follow up. Its scary but I do know my numbers:)

I made the choice when my husband was confirmed that he was was being deployed to leave the American Heart Association as an EMPLOYEE to focus on my son and to get back to what volunteering does, it allows you to advocate. In development, like any company, you need to make your quota but for me, heart is about heart.

I am blessed and honored to work for, advocate for and be an ambassador for the AHA. 90% of all funds that are raised for the Heart Walk go back into the mission. There are not many non profits that can say that. Its been 11 years for me.

I made some unwise choices this year as far as my health but it also makes me understand why people do what they do. I am so blessed that Adventist Health care, Dr Chen, Walter Reed and of course my husband all had my back and my heart:)

As 2013 approaches, I will heed my own advice and listen to my heart...and head.

The Season of Giving

I can talk a lot, I am filled with emotions and one of my favorite things to do and be involved with is ANYTHING to do with children. If you look at the heart beat of most nonprofits, you will find a strong arm in the future. The future is our children. The American Heart Association, USO, Children of Fallen Soldiers Reelief Fund, St Jude, Mental Health Initiatives, CASA and so many more. This is why I am just at such a loss on the tragedies that have been happening in our society. It seems like no place is off limits whether its the mall, movie theatre or the unimaginable such as yesterday in Conneticut....a school. This is the season of giving. It is the season of faith. It is the season of miracles. Most of all, it is the season for children. I don't understand and will never understand the mind of the insane. How can you hurt anyone, especially a child. I am a Mom and my son is my heart beat. I can't imagine the hurt that is running through so many parents hearts right now.

I found this is wanted to share. Thank you to the Middletown Press

Newtown Youth & Family Services to collect donations for families affected by elementary school shooting

Published: Saturday, December 15, 2012

 

By Viktoria Sundqvist
The Middletown Press

For those wishing to help Newtown residents directly affected by Friday’s elementary school shooting, the Newtown Youth & Family Services is collecting donations.

Donations can be sent via “Caroline’s Gift,” a fund set up in the 1990s by a local family in memory of their daughter. The Caroline’s Gift fund offers financial support to families who are dealing with a child’s terminal or catastrophic illness.

“Any donations made to Newtown Youth& Family Services will be donated directly to those affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting,” a message on the organizations website says.

Newtown Youth and Family Services is located at 15 Berkshire Road, Sandy Hook, CT 06482. For more details on how to donate, call (203) 426-8103 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (203) 426-8103 FREE end_of_the_skype_highlighting .

Another group accepting donations is the Newtown Parent Connection, which accepts donations right on its website, www.newtownparentconnection.org. Donations can be made via Paypal or any major credit card, and the organization says all donations will be donated directly to those affected by the shooting. For further details, call (203) 270-1600 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (203) 270-1600 FREE end_of_the_skype_highlighting .

The United Way of Western Connecticut is also accepting donations in a partnership with Newtown Savings Bank. Check donations may be mailed to: Sandy Hook School Support Fund, c/o Newtown Savings Bank, 39 Main St., Newtown CT 06470, or you can drop off a donation at any Newtown Savings Bank branch location. You can also donate by credit card directly online here: https://newtown/uwwesternct.org

“To several staff, volunteers and contributors, Newtown is home,” the United Way of Western Connecticut says on its website. “We will stand with the community and everyone affected directly and indirectly by this tragic event as we face the days and weeks ahead.”

Stuffed animals are also being collected today (Saturday) until 8 p.m. at Macy’s Westfarms for the children at Sandy Hook Elementary School by Kiss 95.7 FM.

“Something to hold onto and hug in the wake of this tragedy,” a Facebook post from the radio station says.

The radio station will also collect stuffed animals for the children on Sunday at Winterfest at Bushnell park in Hartford from 2 to 4 p.m.  

 

The Facebook group R.I.P. Sandy Hook Elementary School Children, which as of Saturday morning had more than 1.1 million likes, is encouraging everyone to wear blue and yellow – the school’s colors – on Monday in honor of the victims.    

 

For those wishing to help Newtown residents directly affected by Friday’s elementary school shooting, the Newtown Youth & Family Services is collecting donations.

Donations can be sent via “Caroline’s Gift,” a fund set up in the 1990s by a local family in memory of their daughter. The Caroline’s Gift fund offers financial support to families who are dealing with a child’s terminal or catastrophic illness.

“Any donations made to Newtown Youth& Family Services will be donated directly to those affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting,” a message on the organizations website says.

Newtown Youth and Family Services is located at 15 Berkshire Road, Sandy Hook, CT 06482. For more details on how to donate, call (203) 426-8103 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (203) 426-8103 FREE end_of_the_skype_highlighting .

Another group accepting donations is the Newtown Parent Connection, which accepts donations right on its website, www.newtownparentconnection.org. Donations can be made via Paypal or any major credit card, and the organization says all donations will be donated directly to those affected by the shooting. For further details, call (203) 270-1600 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (203) 270-1600 FREE end_of_the_skype_highlighting .

The United Way of Western Connecticut is also accepting donations in a partnership with Newtown Savings Bank. Check donations may be mailed to: Sandy Hook School Support Fund, c/o Newtown Savings Bank, 39 Main St., Newtown CT 06470, or you can drop off a donation at any Newtown Savings Bank branch location. You can also donate by credit card directly online here: https://newtown/uwwesternct.org

“To several staff, volunteers and contributors, Newtown is home,” the United Way of Western Connecticut says on its website. “We will stand with the community and everyone affected directly and indirectly by this tragic event as we face the days and weeks ahead.”

Stuffed animals are also being collected today (Saturday) until 8 p.m. at Macy’s Westfarms for the children at Sandy Hook Elementary School by Kiss 95.7 FM.

“Something to hold onto and hug in the wake of this tragedy,” a Facebook post from the radio station says.

The radio station will also collect stuffed animals for the children on Sunday at Winterfest at Bushnell park in Hartford from 2 to 4 p.m.

The Facebook group R.I.P. Sandy Hook Elementary School Children, which as of Saturday morning had more than 1.1 million likes, is encouraging everyone to wear blue and yellow – the school’s colors – on Monday in honor of the victims.

TEN YEARS OF SAVING LIVES WITH GO RED!

In 2003, the American Heart Association faced a challenge;Cardiovascular disease claimed the lives of nearly 500,000 American women each year, yet women were not paying attention. In fact, many even dismissed it as an “older man's disease.” To dispel these myths of heart disease as the No. 1 killer of women, the American Heart Association, along with the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute created National Wear Red Day® to raise awareness of this critical issue. Each year, on the first Friday in February, millions of women and men come together to wear red, take action and commit to fighting this deadly disease.
One year later, in 2004, the AHA also created Go Red For Women - a passionate, emotional, social initiative designed to empower women to take charge of their heart health as well as band together and collectively wipe out heart disease. It challenges women to know their risk for heart disease and use the tools that that Go Red For Women provides to take action to reduce their personal risk.
Funds raised by Go Red For Women allow the American Heart Association to help women by offering educational programs, increase women's understanding about their risk for heart disease and support research to discover scientific knowledge about heart health. We turn science into materials and tools that healthcare providers and decision-makers can use to help women. Scientific guidelines on women and healthcare providers receive the most up-to-date strategies and treatments tailored to a woman's individual risk.
Since the first National Wear Red Day 10 years ago, tremendous strides have been made in the fight against heart disease in women, including:

• 21% fewer women dying from heart disease
• 23% more women aware that it's their No. 1 health threat
• Publishing of gender-specific results, established differences in symptoms and responses to medications and women-specific guidelines for prevention and treatment
• Legislation to help end gender disparities

But the fight is far from over as still hundreds of thousands of women still die each year. It's time to stand stronger, speak louder and join us in the fight this National Wear Red Day.
It's time to Go Red. Join us.

I kind of feel like I have lost my words in the last few months. Its something that we as military spouses probably should not feel or say out loud. Here is my story, I am married to an amazing man and I come with baggage. Don't we all:)

I met Andy a month after my Mom passed at 56 and my Dad at 54. Both heart related but lets face it I came with baggage. My Mom always said you will know when you know and although never married before I was engaged. With Andy, it just fit. Maybe it was our Chesney moment or him trying to feed me but Nashville built this house.

In our eight years of marriage we have gone through multiple deployments,a very special child, a not so great vessel (me)but at the end of the day...God gave me you. The most amazing Dad EVER.

I love you Andy and please come back to me and us...I need you. You are the me in we and I am forever your Pineapple and you are forever my Cuddlebug.

Dear Friends and Family,

Little Patriots Embraced www.littlepatriotsembrced.org  has over 6700 military kids to serve this holiday! Up from 2100 last year!!
And we have several families in need of our help!!!

An Example: One of our families is a family of four. He is a Marine who has deployed several times and is home now to care for his wife who is very sick. She is 32 years old and has a disease with no cure. They have two little girls. They have no money due to this battle that they are fighting against this horrible enemy! We want to be there for this family. We have adopted them for all of 2013, beginning with this Thanksgiving! We need YOUR help to serve them and other military families in need!

Here is how You can help us serve these Military Kids, and the families we have adopted over this holiday season:

1. Little Patriots Embraced has partnered with Heartland Banks in St. Louis to gather toys for Military Children. This ends Nov. 30th.
Please see our flyer attached to this message. Drop off your unwrapped new toys at any Heartland Bank no later than Nov. 30th. OR If you are in the St. Louis area consider an office Toy Drive at your office! Call us for pick-up between Nov. 30 –Dec 7th

2.  Make your Donation of $10.00 or more using the link below. This is our campaign page on our web site.
And we have a FACEBOOK Campaign happening now! Go on LIKE LPE’s page and SHARE! Help us get the word out!
JOIN US in our national campaign to MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF A MILITARY FAMILY!
Your $10.00 (or more) donation today will change the life of one military child this Christmas. One child’s life will be better this holiday because YOU CARED and SHARED.
Please click on this link to see our new holiday campaign!
http://littlepatriotsembraced.org/holiday-campaign/
3.


Thank you so much for your help this holiday season! Without YOU we couldn’t help these families who have sacrificed so much for us.

www.littlepatriotsembraced.org
Find us on facebook, Little Patriots Embraced

 Little Patriots Embraced is a non-profit organizations who's primary focus is to show support for the immediate family members of military personnel as they face the psychological and emotional stress of deployment. Please visit our website at www.littlepatriotsembraced.org or on Facebook at Little Patriots Embraced.

Veterans Day

I am a very proud military spouse and on this Veterans Day, I think its important to know the history coutesy of winkepedia. God Bless America and all who have served or are serving in the United States Military Services!

 

 

Veterans Day
Joseph Ambrose, an 86-year-old World War I veteran, attends the dedication day parade for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in 1982, holding the flag that covered the casket of his son, who was killed in the Korean War.
Type	National

Veterans Day is an official United States holiday honoring armed service veterans. It is a federal holiday that is observed on November 11th. It coincides with other holidays such as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day, which are celebrated in other parts of the world and also mark the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)
Veterans Day is not to be confused with Memorial Day; Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans, while Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving.^[1]
Most sources spell Veterans as a simple plural without a possessive apostrophe (Veteran's or Veterans').

History

U.S. President Woodrow Wilson first proclaimed Armistice Day for November 11, 1919. In proclaiming the holiday, he said

"To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations."^[2]

The United States Congress passed a concurrent resolution seven years later on June 4, 1926, requesting that President Calvin Coolidge issue another proclamation to observe November 11 with appropriate ceremonies.^[2] A Congressional Act (52 Stat. 351; 5 U.S. Code, Sec. 87a) approved May 13, 1938, made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday: "a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as 'Armistice Day'."
In 1945, WWII veteran Raymond Weeks from Birmingham, Alabama, had the idea to expand Armistice Day to celebrate all veterans, not just those who died in World War I. Weeks led a delegation to Gen. Dwight Eisenhower, who supported the idea of National Veterans Day. Weeks led the first national celebration in 1947 in Alabama and annually until his death in 1985. President Reagan honored Weeks at the White House with the Presidential Citizenship Medal in 1982 as the driving force for the national holiday. Elizabeth Dole, who prepared the briefing for President Reagan, determined Weeks as the "Father of Veterans Day."
U.S. Representative Ed Rees from Emporia, Kansas, presented a bill establishing the holiday through Congress. President Dwight Eisenhower, also from Kansas, signed the bill into law on May 26, 1954.^[3]
Congress amended this act on June 1, 1954, replacing "Armistice" with "Veterans," and it has been known as Veterans Day since.^[4][5]
The National Veterans Award, created in 1954, also started in Birmingham. Congressman Rees of Kansas was honored in Alabama as the first recipient of the award for his support offering legislation to make Veterans Day a federal holiday, which marked nine years of effort by Raymond Weeks. Weeks conceived the idea in 1945, petitioned Gen. Eisenhower in 1946, and led the first Veterans Day celebration in 1947 (keeping the official name Armistice Day until Veterans Day was legal in 1954).
Although originally scheduled for celebration on November 11 of every year, starting in 1971 in accordance with the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, Veterans Day was moved to the fourth Monday of October. In 1978, it was moved back to its original celebration on November 11. While the legal holiday remains on November 11, if that date happens to be on a Saturday or Sunday, then organizations that formally observe the holiday will normally be closed on the adjacent Friday or Monday, respectively

Bella

Its so easy in life to be just about me. Me being we and lets face it, at that single moment when your nail is broken there is no fix. We all have stories and we all read like a Danielle Steel novel. I love DS but I would prefer  a good Oprah or Ellen moment. Life is what it is.

When I met my husband 8 years ago I was clearly in a place of me. I was single and yes, had lost my parents but I was career driven. Then God and even before, gave me the not about me family.

I met my husband. He was so different and challenged me in  different way. He didnt understand me but he clearly got me.

I met his family and I am sure in my 5 inch heels and who I am was a bit much but like Lois Lane, I was blessed was some amazing sisters. I was blessed with Carrie and Mic.

Carrie. How do I begin. Clarity. Such a beautiful soul that has 5 children. Bella boo is all so special. Bella has VLCAD.

VLCAD is a recessive gene disorder and one that is rare. Her's is cardiac.

The picture is her rock star Halloween princess photo. Yes, much like my Rocky, she is a rock star.


ghr.nlm.nih.gov/.../very-long-chain-acyl-coa-dehydrogenase-deficie...

Bella is 5

Learn more and help if you can raise awareness. Hopefully. one day we can find a a cure. The reality is that there aren't a lot of statistics of patients after the age of 20. Our reality and my belief is in the reality of who believe because with science being what it is, we can save lives and promote change.

Grandma Carter

I feel like I should say something profound today. I just dont see that happening. I am sitting in what has come to be a normal place for me, and I dont say that as a martyr but just a part of life, but preparing for yet another funeral service. Our Grandmother passed away yesterday from heart disease. She went through two heart surgeries and just did not want another. Grandma Carter and yes Carter's namesake and Great Grandmother.

Good and bad things always come from funerals. After my parents there was the suicide and just the craziness. With all of that, I no longer have a sister in my life that I probably should but family wounds are the hardest to heal because they are personal and we as a human race are just stubborn.

The good is that the family will come together. We will look at each other with flaws in our mind. Did she gain weight, does he have a job, why werent they ther enough and the list goes on and on. The end of the day, we are together and probably drunk.

We and I say we because I am one of the guily one's....do not make time on a daily basis to say hey, how are you...thinking of you....love you. Yet somehow we find the time at funerals. Time to not say...hey, I love you....miss you...and so much more.

Phyliss Carter was an amazing lady, Mother, Grandma and so much more. May your golden wings fly and might I add that I hope they have shrimp and some white zin in heaven. love you.

Growing up we had some family. It was always the family that was not your day to day but your respite. My Grandpa gave me $.25 for 711 and it was the best. That and when he had me chasing squirrels tails because if I sprinkled salt on them I could pet them. That was the best in retrospect but at the time I never caught a one but spent HOURS trying:)

Carter was named after my husbands family. the "Carter's". Phylis Carter and I did marry her grandson and Carter is after her. Thomas is a joint union.

She isnt doing well and I hate this.

Please pray

Lady Gaga and Oprah

I am a music junkie and it has gotten me through so much in my life. I have come to realize the reality is not so real for me anymore but I still love me a good tune or two:)

I was watching an interview with Lady Gaga and Oprah and as a born sceptic, wow. It was honest and real.

The lady Gaga foundation, Be Brave, is amazing. I was NEVER EVER EVER the popular girl in school and frankly to this day I think my reunion invites have been lost in the mail. High
school was rough for me and awkward.

I feel blessed everyday in my life and to quote Lady Gaga, I was born this way and frankly how fun are those reunions anyway?

Cooking shows and I love them!

So I am sitting here wtching probably my 5th cooking show of the day. Even all of the morning shows have segments and some shows are just about the food. I do love me some Rachel Ray and the Chew but when they are followed by Dr Oz and the Doctors, what choices should we make?

As a heart attack survivor with a 70% blockage in my LAD and stent placed, it makes me wonder what am I doing wrong? I love Hells Kitchen and Master Chef also so my daily obsession has brought me into my night time viewing.

I work out most days and "try" to make those healthy choices but problem one is I have a child problem two a husband. My hubby certainly is not up for a pale of kale chips and soy milk when he gets home so how do you find the balance?

My new wish list is the Rachel Ray cookware set. Is it odd that I have that on my Christmas wish list? My only request is with her 30 minutes mels, fab personality and the Rachel Ray show, can we not do a heart healthy show or two? There is Gluten free but what about a segment on tasteful heart healthy dishes. AHA has many and would love to see them featured. I am no better than the norm and I need reminders to but heart healthy goes way beyond egg whites.

My dream cooking show...Rachel Ray cooks for Dr Oz...for the military! Well until then I'll just keep looking for my Rachel Ray cookware:)

Heres to your heart!

Army Wife...the real one

Its hard for me sometimes to accept certain aspects of life. I know it is said that God does not give you anything you can't handle but at times I just would like to have a one on one with God to say, you have a lot more belief in me than I do myself. Andy and I have been married for going on 8 years and each year brings another challenge. With me came special baggage for him as my Mom passed just a month before we met and my Daddy was already in the heavens. No doubt, I was an emotional wreck and I can't say 8 years later than I am the Georgia peach my Momma was.

Our first year and a half of marriage included 12 months in Iraq for Andy. The next year was transition. We lived in Germany, Alabama, Mass and then and now DC/MD. This was followed after many tries the great gift of my son. Carter Thomas Linz. He, I always say, is an over achiever, arrived 4 months early at 23 weeks and spent 6 months in the NICU and many surgeries. The next year I had a heart attack and a stent placed. Move forward to 2012 and we are facing yet another deployment. Yes, Andy is deploying to Afghanistan.

I am trying so hard to wrap my head around it because everyone is coming back...so said the ever informed media outlets but the fact is we are still deploying.

I am so proud of my husband and I love him so much. He is an incredible man and in some weird warped state I just say to myself God will not take him from me because he knows he is my world and I have no one else in my life to be my rock. Not that he should be but he is my best friend and my one and only true love. If you know Andy, you know that he is a great man, a strong man and yes he does battle me on my shoe addiction but at the end of the day, in his arms is wjere I am meant to be. We do family hugs too, including the furries. EVERYDAY. We may never have the biggest house on the block but we have a lot of love in our family.

I am scared, I am mad and I am so proud of him.

I am an Army wife and accepted that the day I said I do. I have no regrets but I am filled with worry. Carter needs his Daddy and I do too. So do the furries.

I am an Army wife....when will this war ever end?

HSN

I think, ok, I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve.

In all of my emotional turmoil, this week has brought me back to  great place in my life and yet a sad today. I worked for the Home Shopping Network, re branded as HSN for many years. I was on air and also as a buyer. In total 9 years and yes they helped me through college and sponsored a dress for Miss Florida USA. Well Roy and Barry did.

Thank you to Roy for believing in me and Phylis for making me laugh.

We all lost two amazing people this week....laughter and love. Forever irreplaceable