It almost feels like years are days and days are years. Its all a blur. I have been so lost for so many reasons. I have been so numb the past few months that I could not find air in a world I once thought was mine to hold and have. Death will do that. The one thing I do is continue to function for my family. After all that's all I should be appreciative of. I say this with sarcasm. I posted on Facebook that I was sad only to get back you should just focus on your husband????? Really? I was once a VP and today I am nothing but a vehicle of subservience? I am a Mom and a great wife but I am still ME. My foundation is there and when he doesn't see it or they don't see it we minus well turn back to 1960 and pray for a right to vote.
In the past few years I have heard some amazing statements from some who literally broke my heart. Your not worth the air anyone breathes will always be my favorite as it lingers with me. You are nothing, will be nothing. Again a favorite. No one will ever love you, the Mother of a disabled child and no one wants to look like the jerk. You've done so much charity and you have a disabled child, I would never want to be in your life. Imagine dating you? Your husband doesn't love you. Your have no family, your parents are dead? It goes on and on...that and I wear 6 inch heels to a state fair. That's sinful!
I'm done as I approach 2016. I'm DONE being a victim to my own mind or ANYONE else's.
Listen I know I am "nothing" to so many but I am "something" and I am meant to be on this earth.
You don't know me at all if you think I am a quitter. I have had amazing people believe in. So to Frank Woods, Morgan Hare, Tom Merrihew, Bud Paxson.
My issue HAS ALWAYS been lack of the belief in myself.
I am far from done. I have NO idea what I am going to do but I am done with tears and fears. Its time to thrive and yes a Mom of a special needs child can and will own amazing.
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