April 1st is no joke to me

I know it seems odd, and my Dad hated it but his Birthday was April 1st. His youngest Brother, Paul, born 25 years later (yes by the same parents in fact my Mother was pregnant with my sister at the time) was born on the same day. A family of fools maybe? No...but my Dad was animate that I would not be born on the same day because lets face it, kids can be cruel especially when your Birthday is April Fools Day.

He died at 54 in 2001. Hard to believe the time. It was June 7th and when September happened, I just kept wondering what my Dad would do. My Mom passed in 2006.

As I sit here today I find myself angry at him and I trust that will never pass. He could have saved his life but he also was so concerned about my Mom and making money. I would go past his business at 10pm and he still was there. (I worked in TV so my schedule was crazy but for a different reason)

In two weeks he was in two hospitals. The Cardiologist that took care of my Mom moved him to Largo medical and at 5am, I was driving over the wrong bridge. We lived in Florida and I was just on auto pilot. I was there every day even when others could not be.

I'll never forget staring at the monitor as they just kept going down.

I was asked this week about my own story and my take away. My take away is I have no parents and I pray my son does not know this feeling far too soon. I can't write or describe a take away because there is nothing to take away but emptiness. Sounds so morbid but it the face of heart disease that can't be sketched.

When you loose someone you love, no they are not in a better place because that place you always pray is with you.

April fools...no the reality is on me:

To My Daddy:

There I sat, you and me
In this year, where would you be?
Your heart stop beating
Mine beats everyday
Not so fair, that you went away

Although your not with me
I don't know what to do
In my darkest hour
One plus one equals two

In my darkest hour
One plus one equals two

I''m forever your little girl and miss you
One plus one equals two
One plus one equals two


Happy Birthday Daddy