Deanna Linz~TV Host and Pageant Coach

The day is starting to show the signs of spring. The remaining snow is cooling down the air as it melts but at least the temperature is in the 60's. Cloudy though in preparation of the rainy days to follow. At least we did have a full day of sunshine. Maybe it is the clouds or the pending rain but I starting thinking about everything. For me, this is not always a good thing:) I remember last year when I competed in Maryland for Mrs Maryland International and again over the summer at Mrs International. There were so many eyes and frank statements made in judgement on how I could do that when my son had been in the hospital for 165 days and still was struggling with many health issues. Carter was by my side but that didn't matter to some.There is something to the statement that if you sit down for too long you may not be able to get up. For me, it was a respite in a time of great struggle and how I survived outside of the tears I shed daily.

There was a child that passed when Carter was in the NICU that was tracking as Carter was and born as early. I was pretty horrified when the nurse commented that maybe it was for the best. I can't ever imagine that was the best for anyone and certainly not his parents. What this year and the 9 and 6 years prior since loosing my Mother and Father have taught me is that strength is found in God, in love and most importantly your family. I think my heart attack in January and surgery just made me realize that life is so very precious and it is important to always fight for those you love and advocate for them and their causes. When I look back I guess I could feel sorry for myself and I do at times, because I am human...but that can't be the state of which I live daily. Carter needs me and I need him. Last week after his surgery I think what hurt the most was that it took two days to get a smile from him. He gives LOTS of smiles daily so I was really in need of one. When he smiled I knew everything would be just fine.

Its important to not sit down for too long. This life waits for no one. Time moves ahead as I write but doesn't it always? It never stops. It is already two seconds past my last word. Time flies....ehhhhh....